Teach Your Daughter to Determine a Man's Worth by Reading the Classics
There are good men in the world, and there are bad men in the world where women are concerned. And yes, it is that black and white; at least it is in a classic novel.
The good men you will find between the covers of these books can love deeply, honor, cherish, and value a woman, while the bad men can not.
Read MoreWhy do we place so much value on reading as a culture but fail to raise a country of readers?
Read More
A friend showed me a clip of her nine-month-old baby trying to imitate her mother's expressions. I looked into the baby's eyes as I watched the video and the intense alertness that I witnessed, the acute observation of each facial move in her mother's face, was fascinating.
The baby wanted to know how to make the same faces her mother was making, and she was trying to understand how to do this by conducting a scientific investigation.
It's the intense desire to know that all healthy children possess, yet what happens to their curiosity as they grow older? Why do so many children forsake that infinite sense of wonder that is so innate to each of us?
“No thief, however skillful, can rob one of knowledge, and that is why knowledge is the best and safest treasure to acquire.”
One of the reasons this happens today is because too many children start school at young ages, and by the time they reach kindergarten, first grade, if they are lucky, the light within them begins to dim.
Consider this: if your child’s desire to explore and understand the world around him is constantly thwarted by a teacher’s dictates, he will begin to give up his investigative work, and his sense of curiosity will eventually wilt.
For example, if a child has a small shovel in his hand, but every time he tries to shovel something a teacher tells him to stop, he will eventually stop picking the shovel up.
When a child cannot follow the lead of his curiosity, or is not in an environment where he can exercise his desire to know, as children who are in daycare and preschools from early ages are, they begin to put their curiosity down.
If you have a child whose curiosity is waning, or whose curiosity you want to stimulate, here are five things you can do:
If you have to put your child into an outside program, look for a daycare or preschool that is play-based and ideally held in the outdoors, such as a Forest School. Make sure they are operated by people who understand what children need at these tender ages. If you aren't sure what the philosophy for the school is, ask them. Please do not be shy about these matters; after all, this is your child, and you want to make sure he is under the best care.
Immediately remove all screens from your child's life both inside and outside the home. Under no circumstances should you hand him your cell phone to quiet him because you are busy. Screens are a cause of a dimming curiosity; not only that but they will thwart your child's brain development.
Do not entertain your child! Let him entertain himself. It is not that you don't ever play with your child, but only that you do not become his full-time playmate. Allow him to follow the dictates of his curiosity and figure things out for himself. Children are little scientists; let him conduct his own experiments.
Be curious yourself. Take your child into the outdoors and explore with him. Let him walk barefoot on fallen leaves and dip his feet into spring water to awaken his senses. Bring his attention to the songs of birds and the rustling of the trees as the wind blows through them. Collect a bug or two and read about them when you get home. Notice a particular bird sound (my favorite is the red-winged blackbird!) and look the bird up in a reference book or on the internet when you get home. Try to imitate the bird's song with your child. Ask him questions to stimulate a conversation and discover the answers together, such as how birds fly and what foods they eat.
Lastly, if you can, don't put your child into any school programs until he is at least ten years old. Until then, teach him yourself because so many learning problems take root during those early years. The first few grades of elementary school are easy to teach when you know what you are doing.
Remember that the desire to know is our natural state, but we have this yearning socialized out of us in various ways, the least not being school. Our innate desire to know, however, is still there within us.
“An investment in knowledge always pays the best interest.”
If your child's desire for knowledge has dimmed, trust that you can help him awaken it; because reaching his full potential in life begins with the desire to know.
Don’t miss our free download, 10 True Facts About Homeschooled Kids That Will Surprise You.
When you join the Smart Homeschooler Academy online course for parents, Liz will share her 6-step framework for homeschooling brighter, happier, engaged kids who can get into the top 20 colleges and excel in their personal and professional lives.
Teach your child to read before sending him to school! Learn more about Liz's unique course to raise a serious reader, How to Teach Your Child to Read and Raise a Child Who Loves to Read.
For parents of younger children, who are concerned that their children develop well physically, emotionally, neurologically (brain), and intellectually please begin with Liz’s original online course, Raise Your Child to Thrive in Life and Excel in Learning.
Elizabeth Y. Hanson is a homeschooling thought-leader and the founder of Smart Homeschooler.
As an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach, she has 22+ years of experience working in education.
Developing a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child, based on tradition and modern research, Liz devotes her time to helping parents to get it right.
Liz is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.
"I know Elizabeth Y. Hanson as a remarkably intelligent, highly sensitive woman with a moral nature and deep insight into differences between schooling and education. Elizabeth's mastery of current educational difficulties is a testimony to her comprehensive understanding of the competing worlds of schooling and education. She has a good heart and a good head. What more can I say?”
—John Taylor Gatto Distinguished educator, public speaker, and best-selling author of Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling
Anyone who says homeschooling is easy is stretching the truth. I know, a lot of you are shouting out, "But I've heard you say it's easy many times!"
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There are times, usually late at night, when the phone rings and you find yourself cursing Graham Bell’s invention. But it’s your father, so you pick the phone up anyway.
You know the light, bubbly ring in a person’s voice when something good has just come their way? That’s how my father sounded which, in his old and decaying body, was rare in those days.
After a few minutes of chit-chat, I found myself saying, “Dad, it’s late here, and I’ve had a really long day. Would you mind if I called you back tomorrow, and we can have a good talk then?”
“Honey, you get a good night’s sleep and call me tomorrow,” he replied.
And we both hung up.
There are some moments, however, that you can never take back, and this was one of them. Tomorrow would find my father with a tube down his throat from which he would never fully recover.
And seven weeks later he would be dead.
It was a hard lesson that I learned too late. When your father or mother calls and they miss you and want to talk, forget about everything else and talk to them like you would if it were God calling.
My father would never telephone me again.
A Shakespearean scholar well-versed in the trickery of the heart, he could spot an insincere person a mile away. And he understood my singular troubles in life like no other; my father was my wisest counsel and my strongest ally.
His loss was no small measure.
They put a tube down his throat which caused him to have a stroke.
No one mentioned that that was a possibility before they inserted it. I was always diligent about asking the pros and cons to any procedure or medication, but this time I wasn’t. I was on the other side of the country, and one of my siblings had to make some quick decisions. My father had been bleeding internally, and time was not on his side.
After they intubated him, he could no longer speak well, and he couldn’t hold a pen. My father was a writer, and he was almost finished with a book that represented the last 40 years of his life’s work.
“Let me die in peace,” became his unspoken words.
I flew cross country and stayed by his side for seven long and agonizing weeks. I wanted them to end, but I never wanted them to end. One day I went out to run an errand, and he died.
Just like that.
Everyone knew his departure was due any moment except for me. Did anyone realize that I couldn’t see the obvious? His soul was about to betray his body. How I missed something so clear and so final, I will never understand.
I was stunned as I listened to the roaring from an ocean of grief flooding the hallways.
My ocean.
I can still vividly recall the look of the newborn babe in his eyes as I said goodbye to him for the last time that late afternoon in spring.
This irrational thought kept creeping into my mind, “How could he leave without saying goodbye?” But for seven weeks he had been saying goodbye.
There are moments now when I’ll be standing at my kitchen sink washing dishes, and I’ll look out my window and imagine my father walking through the courtyard and up to my front door.
And then I remember that he’ll never reach that door again.
The greatest irony in life is our inability to fully appreciate something until we’ve lost it. Our health we take for granted until we’re faced with the possibility of disease, our youth we squander on foolish pursuits, and our parents we forsake for the busyness of our lives.
In the West, we fail to comprehend the depth of the parent/child bond. They still understand it in the East, but in the West we have lost that most precious knowledge.
There’s something sacred about a parent. A parent’s love is unconditional, and unconditional love is divine in nature. Historically children have always been taught to honor their parents, but in the West, to our own demise, we neither teach nor expect this of our children anymore.
I was familiar with the Eastern teaching and had tried to model it. I thought I had succeeded. But when my father died, I realized that I hadn’t really understood the magnitude of our bond. But I understood it then, and then was too late.
Modern science can’t prove what I’m about to say, but I know it’s true. You see, the natural bond between a parent and child is a divine bond, and it’s unbreakable because love comes from God. If not, then from where does it come?
What I want to say to you is this: in the hearts of our parents, He has added a bit of His own, and a bit of our own, so honor your parents well while they are here.
Because then will be too late.
Download the free in-field report: 6 Reasons Why Homeschooled Kids Have Better Social Skills.
When you join the Smart Homeschooler Academy online course for parents, Liz will share her 6-step framework for homeschooling the "whole" child for brighter, happier, engaged kids who can get into the top-20 colleges and excel in their personal and professional lives.
Too many homeschooled kids are not reaching their full potential because parents are struggling with how to raise and educate a "whole" child—a child who is well-developed physically, emotionally, socially, and intellectually—so that their children receive a first-rate education and are well prepared to blossom and succeed in their life's journey.
The Smart Homeschooler Academy, with Liz as your guide, is the answer.
Teach your child to read before sending him to school! Learn more about Elizabeth's unique course, How to Teach Your Child to Read and Raise a Child Who Loves to Read.
For parents of children under age seven who would like to prepare their child for social and academic success, please begin with Elizabeth’s singular online course, Raise Your Child to Thrive in Life and Excel in Learning.
Elizabeth Y. Hanson is a homeschooling thought-leader and the founder of Smart Homeschooler.
As an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach, she has 22+ years of experience working in education.
Developing a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child, based on tradition and modern research, and she devotes her time to helping parents to get it right.
Elizabeth is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.
"I know Elizabeth Y. Hanson as a remarkably intelligent, highly sensitive woman with a moral nature and deep insight into differences between schooling and education. Elizabeth's mastery of current educational difficulties is a testimony to her comprehensive understanding of the competing worlds of schooling and education. She has a good heart and a good head. What more can I say?”
—John Taylor Gatto Distinguished educator, public speaker, and best-selling author of Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling
Discipline is a habit that you want to help your child develop, because it will make a critical difference in his life. Without it, he will struggle to reach his potential, and he will struggle to reach his goals.
It's an interesting word, discipline. It comes from a Latin word, "disciplīna," which, according to Cassell's Latin Dictionary means "instruction, teaching…in a wider sense, training, education…the result of training, discipline, ordered way of life."
When we speak about correcting a child's behavior, we use the word "discipline," not necessarily as a punishment, but the idea is to train the child in the habit of doing the right thing, so he grows up to embody good character.
“I say that habits long practice, friend,
And this becomes men’s nature in the end.”
Which is one of the problems in the way we approach raising children today. We misunderstand the ultimate purpose of discipline and view it as a punishment more than a training in the way of good character.
Hence, the idea of using discipline to punish a child’s misbehavior has become a faulty premise from which some modern parenting theories have evolved.
As we witness the increase in mental health challenges, which now effect 87% of our children, we have to begin to question the ways in which we are raising children today.
When it comes to raising our children to reach their potential intellectually, physically, morally, and emotionally, as well as acquire personal and professional success, discipline is what’s called for.
We discipline the child, so the child learns how to develop the habits he needs to embody good character and to reach greater heights in life; and one of those habits is the habit of self-discipline.
“First say to yourself what you would be; and then do what you have to do.”
Most well-accomplished people exercise much self-discipline in their lives. Whether it be a writer who improves his skill by writing every day, a pianist who becomes great through much practice, or an athlete who is at his sports training daily; these people will have acquired the habit of self-discipline.
There are many areas in our lives that are directly affected by the level of discipline we exercise in our lives; areas that will be critical to your child's personal and professional success.
In maintaining physical health, it's important to exercise discipline in eating well and getting regular exercise. It takes will power to pass up dessert every night, and it takes effort to get into the habit of daily exercise
However, without the self-discipline around diet and exercise, it’s easy to become an overweight adult who develops health problems at earlier ages than one would expect.
Also, exercise helps improve one’s mental well-being, which is a significant component to exercise given the increase in mental issues now.
In developing any skill to a higher level we need to practice, and daily practice takes discipline. If your child learns to play a musical instrument, speak a foreign language or become a good athlete, for example, he will have to practice at least five or six days a week.
Daily practice is how we attain levels of mastery and excellence. And having self-discipline means that we practice whether we want to or not.
It's easy when we want to do something, but it's doing it when we don't want to that will make the difference. Those that learn to keep at it are the ones who attain a higher level of skill; the rest become dabblers.
A well-trained mind is predicated upon strong language skills, especially the ability to read well. Your child will need to develop a daily habit of reading, so that he can become a skilled reader.
Most intellectual pursuits will involve reading, so if he hasn’t developed a love of reading, it may hinder his intellectual pursuits. As he gets older, and the literature requires more of an effort to read, self-discipline will get him through any difficult book.
Even the ability to think independently requires the skill of reading. Without being able to read what others write ourselves, we can never evaluate a situation, an idea, or an event using our own minds.
We will have to rely upon third-party sources to tell us what to think. We want to raise independent thinkers, not followers of the latest popular opinion or belief.
Habits are the result of the choices we make in life. Aristotle said that the sum total of our habits determines the quality of our character. If we want to raise children of good character, we have to inculcate the quality of discipline in them, because they need discipline to act in the right way and at the right time.
Do we choose to have self-control around food or not? Do we choose to exercise or not? Do we choose to read or not?
To choose to eat well, to choose to exercise daily, to choose to read when we would rather watch a film requires discipline!
“Through discipline comes freedom.”
As you can see, self-discipline is one of those qualities that if your child does not develop it, he will be at a disadvantage in his life. Discipline is at the core of everything we do well, which is why its opposite, sloth, is one of the seven deadly sins according to the Catholics.
Whether you believe in God or not, the lack of discipline will always be deadly to any goal we set, because we can't get there without it.
And, neither can your child. So help your child develop the habit of acting with discipline, because he'll go much further in his life with it than he will without.
Download the free in-field report: 6 Reasons Why Homeschooled Kids Have Better Social Skills.
When you join the Smart Homeschooler Academy online course for parents, Liz will share her 6-step framework for homeschooling the "whole" child for brighter, happier, engaged kids who can get into the top-20 colleges and excel in their personal and professional lives.
Too many homeschooled kids are not reaching their full potential because parents are struggling with how to raise and educate a "whole" child—a child who is well-developed physically, emotionally, socially, and intellectually—so that their children receive a first-rate education and are well prepared to blossom and succeed in their life's journey.
The Smart Homeschooler Academy, with Liz as your guide, is the answer.
Teach your child to read before sending him to school! Learn more about Elizabeth's unique course, How to Teach Your Child to Read and Raise a Child Who Loves to Read.
For parents of children under age seven who would like to prepare their child for social and academic success, please begin with Elizabeth’s singular online course, Raise Your Child to Thrive in Life and Excel in Learning.
Elizabeth Y. Hanson is a homeschooling thought-leader and the founder of Smart Homeschooler.
As an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach, she has 22+ years of experience working in education.
Developing a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child, based on tradition and modern research, and she devotes her time to helping parents to get it right.
Elizabeth is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.
"I know Elizabeth Y. Hanson as a remarkably intelligent, highly sensitive woman with a moral nature and deep insight into differences between schooling and education. Elizabeth's mastery of current educational difficulties is a testimony to her comprehensive understanding of the competing worlds of schooling and education. She has a good heart and a good head. What more can I say?”
—John Taylor Gatto Distinguished educator, public speaker, and best-selling author of Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling
Let's face it, with all the time parents spend helping their kids do homework, they may as well be homeschooling.
Read MoreWe don't stop often enough to reflect upon the messages we send our children through our words and actions—even the expressions on our face.
Read MoreDeresiewicz's book "Excellent Sheep" is an insider's scathing critique of the Ivy League system. Full of surprises, it'll make you think twice about the value of an Ivy League education.
Read MoreWe all try to do what's best for our kids but, in doing so, are we considering their total well-being? Are we making decisions based on sound strategies or just because something sounds good and everyone seems to be doing it?
Read MoreUpon entering the room, on my very first day, I discovered that the study table and the four bright orange chairs surrounding it were much too small for me. Looking at the boys, I asked, more from amusement than anything else, "Boys, do you think I'm going to fit into these chairs and isn't this table too small for me?"
Read MoreA common practice of students since time immemorial, rote learning has received an undeservedly bad rap in the postmodern world.
Read MoreBeing a mother today, with limited or no family support, is a challenge. On our best days we can feel a little like we are going nuts. And then we throw in the idea of homeschooling, at least some of us do, and then we panic for surely we will go nuts! But, it isn't actually like that and somehow most of us manage to keep ourselves relatively sane.
Read MoreHere's another gem from the book: "Immigrants who were educated in Europe often became private schoolmasters, advertising in the newspapers that they would teach algebra, geometry, trigonometry, surveying, navigation, french, Latin, Greek, rhetoric, English, belles lettres, logic, philosophy, and other subjects. Wow! Does anyone even know anyone who knows all of this today? If we do, they are usually not found teaching children!
Read More
As an activist for helping parents raise good readers, you may be surprised to hear me say that there are times when it is wrong for a child to read a book.
You see, there is an etiquette to reading just like there is an etiquette to everything in life: there’s a time to read and a time not to read.
Fortunately, unlike table manners, there are only two reading rules your child needs to learn.
Books should never come to the dinner table or any other table where food is present. When you eat, you eat; when you read, you read.
It is uncivil to read a book at the dinner table. Meal times are a time for pleasant conversations and showing an interest in what others have to say, which is virtually impossible to do while reading.
Out of respect for books, children (nor adults) should ever eat while reading. You don't want to soil the books with food. It’s also a bad habit to eat while reading because it can lead to unwanted weight gain.
Children should not read at social gatherings.
I’ve seen children plop themselves and their books in a central position to the other guests as if to holler, "Look, I have something better to do than talk to all of you!"
The accomplishment of raising a good reader, which a parent does deserves to feel proud of, should never justify a display of antisocial behavior from a child.
I’m sure I’m not the only adult who’s had conversations with kids that go something like this:
"Hi, sweety, how are you?"
Child looks up uninterestedly.
“Fine."
Child’s head goes back into book.
"What are you reading?"
"A book."
While it's fabulous, marvelous and awesome that he is reading, his manners leave a lot to be desired.
This sort of behavior is a red flag that the parents are failing to teach their child right from wrong in matters of lasting significance.
“I am always saying “Glad to’ve met you” to somebody I’m not at all glad I met. If you want to stay alive, you have to say that stuff, though.”
Reading a book should never take precedence over socializing with a guest.
It's not that a child should leave his books at home when he goes out. He can take a book on an airplane, for a long drive, or to the doctor's office. But when it comes to socializing, he should put the book down and practice his social skills.
“Politeness [is] a sign of dignity, not subservience.”
WHAT ABOUT SOCIALIZATION?
Engaging in social activities can be uncomfortable and awkward for young children, especially if they're shy. Hiding their face in a book is one way to avoid the awkwardness.
But it's not the right way.
The right thing to do and the thing most beneficial for your child is to let him face his shyness by engaging in conversation with others. Children do not develop good social skills in a vacuum, they learn them by socializing. In other words, through practice.
As Daniel Goleman demonstrates in his ground-breaking book, Emotional Intelligence, good social skills–which are predicated upon good manners–are the basis for just about everything in life that will make a person happy: a successful marriage, good relationships with one's children, long-term friendships, and a successful career.
And Goleman's research proves that there are even times when a child should not read a book!
Don’t miss our free download, Ten Books Every Well-Educated Child Should Read.
Teach your child to read before sending him to school! Learn more about Elizabeth's unique course, How to Teach Your Child to Read and Raise a Child Who Loves to Read.
When you join the Smart Homeschooler Academy online course for parents, Liz will share her 6-step framework, so you can raise children of higher intelligence, critical thinking, and of good character.
As a homeschooler, you will never have to worry about failing your children, because working with Liz, you will feel confident, calm, and motivated; as she guides you to train your children’s minds and nurture their characters.
For parents of children under age seven who would like to prepare their child for social and academic success, please begin with Elizabeth’s singular online course, Raise Your Child to Thrive in Life and Excel in Learning.
Elizabeth Y. Hanson is a homeschooling thought-leader and the founder of Smart Homeschooler.
As an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach, she has 21+ years of experience working in education.
Developing a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child, based on tradition and modern research, and she devotes her time to helping parents to get it right.
Elizabeth is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.
"I know Elizabeth Y. Hanson as a remarkably intelligent, highly sensitive woman with a moral nature and deep insight into differences between schooling and education. Elizabeth's mastery of current educational difficulties is a testimony to her comprehensive understanding of the competing worlds of schooling and education. She has a good heart and a good head. What more can I say?”
—John Taylor Gatto Distinguished educator, public speaker, and best-selling author of Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling
Societal influences can make it easy or difficult to raise a child who is well-mannered, respectful, and resourceful.
In today’s social climate, we face many parenting challenges, but there are strategies you can implement to ensure a better outcome for your family.
When our children are young, we want to train them to do the right thing, so they develop the right habits in childhood and learn to make the right choices.
“Always do what is right. It will gratify half of mankind and astound the other.”
It begins with little things such as learning to pick up after themselves, doing chores before they play, and learning to be considerate of other people's needs.
Good role models in a child’s life are essential. If the parents treat each other courteously, are respectful towards family and friends, and honest and helpful with others, the children are more likely to follow suit.
As no child is born a civilized human being, there is also a training through discipline that has to occur, too. In fact, raising our children to become civilized human beings is the essence of our work.
Good parents can produce bad children; there are no guarantees that children turn out well.
Discipline is key to developing the qualities that make up good character, as it takes discipline to do what is demanded of us!
Think of how much discipline it takes to pass up a piece of chocolate cake, to put away the screens, to go the gym.
Discipline is a key trait that most of us never develop. It is what sets the above-average, who reach great heights in their endeavors, from those who never will.
Public school can undo your hard work, though, because rudeness and crudeness are now the norms. Children sent to school for eight hours a day where the teachers are not allowed to discipline them, are at a disadvantage.
However children who spend their days in a homeschooled environment are with adults who are able to put the time and effort into guiding the kids in the right ways.
At home, we do have authority over our children and can discipline them as needed. The right training in childhood is essential to raising a well-mannered, happy child.
Spare the rod, spoil the child, was an old adage that adults used to repeat before the 60's cultural revolution when sound parenting principles were abandoned for unproven theories.
Another disadvantage to raising children today is the decline in quality films and the introduction of screen activities.
The films are vulgar, the music is ribald, childhood games are on screens, and texting replaces real conversation.
On top of that, social media alone is causing a distortion of the way children see themselves and the world, leading to a host of mental health issues.
Negative influences will unravel any good work you've done to raise your children well, which is why we need to be diligent with the environments that influence our children.
The aforementioned should be a strict NO for every concerned!
The Ancient Greeks knew that bad influences in a child's life would affect their characters. It is really just a matter of common sense, something the Ancient Greeks had plenty of.
We’ve buried our head’s in the sand, though, because we believe we can put our children into these environments and all will be fine.
Our children are telling us a different story, and it’s time we start listening to them.
We have a generation of children, raised on technology, who are becoming active in the movement to protect children from the ill-effects of technology, because they can see the damage it has caused to their generation.
Dishonesty is a serious character defect, but it is common now. Ninety-seven percent of schoolchildren are dishonest according to statistics gathered by Vickie Abeles, who produced the documentary, Race to Nowhere.
Even without the statistics, we know from experience that we are no longer an honest society. Each of us deals with it every single day.
During the Covid days, my son took a statistics exam online, only to receive an email from the teacher announcing that some of the students had cheated on the exam.
I was told the exam was easy, too. College students cheating on an easy exam?
“I’m not upset that you lied to me, I’m upset that from now on I can’t believe you.”
Cheating is a habit for many children today.
When cheating on exams is pardoned with no serious repercussions, we are tolerating dishonesty and teaching our kids that it is no big deal.
But it is a big deal. Bad character is a big deal because these people cause harm to others, and they cause harm to themselves.
For sure, they don’t sleep well at night.
These students have learned to become dishonest people, because they are raised in a system that doesn't uphold the values of truth, goodness, and beauty.
It’s difficult to believe now that such values were once so honored in the West, but it is true.
Protect your children from the negative influences in society for as long as you can. Raise them in a bubble! Allow them the time to develop in healthy ways; physically, morally, and intellectually, because the bubble will burst.
When it does, you want to feel confident that you did your job well, by giving your children the right kind of start in life.
The rest is up to them.
Don’t miss our free download, 7 Steps to Protect Your Child's Mind and Heart from Negative Influences.
Teach your child to read before sending him to school! Learn more about Elizabeth's unique course, How to Teach Your Child to Read and Raise a Child Who Loves to Read.
When you join the Smart Homeschooler Academy online course for parents, Liz will share her 6-step framework, so you can raise children of higher intelligence, critical thinking, and of good character.
As a homeschooler, you will never have to worry about failing your children, because working with Liz, you will feel confident, calm, and motivated; as she guides you to train your children’s minds and nurture their characters.
For parents of children under age seven who would like to prepare their child for social and academic success, please begin with Elizabeth’s singular online course, Raise Your Child to Thrive in Life and Excel in Learning.
Elizabeth Y. Hanson is a homeschooling thought-leader and the founder of Smart Homeschooler.
As an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach, she has 21+ years of experience working in education.
Developing a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child, based on tradition and modern research, and she devotes her time to helping parents to get it right.
Elizabeth is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.
"I know Elizabeth Y. Hanson as a remarkably intelligent, highly sensitive woman with a moral nature and deep insight into differences between schooling and education. Elizabeth's mastery of current educational difficulties is a testimony to her comprehensive understanding of the competing worlds of schooling and education. She has a good heart and a good head. What more can I say?”
—John Taylor Gatto Distinguished educator, public speaker, and best-selling author of Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling
Actually, there is no epidemic of ADHD. It is a phantom disorder with no basis in science according to John Rosemond and Bose Ravenel's eye-opening book, The Diseasing of America's Children.
Their argument is sound.
The real epidemic is an epidemic of the inability to stay focused because we live in the Age of Distraction. A school-age child's inability to focus is not a medical disorder; it is the result of a skill he has never developed; the skill of paying attention and staying focused.
Normal, healthy children raised in wholesome ways don't suffer from the inability to focus. Prior to the 1970s when children ran free, learning and behavioral disorders in school were almost unheard of.
To be precise, only about 1 - 3% of the population in the USA were afflicted with a true disorder. To put this in perspective, during my 1960 / 70s school years, I never had a classmate who was diagnosed with a learning or behavioral disorder.
If a child was amongst the 1 - 3% afflicted with a medical disorder, the disorder was usually too extreme to enter school in the first place.
So now what? If there is no epidemic of ADHD, and if the real problem is that normal, healthy children are not learning how to focus, what can we do to correct this tragic situation?
It is tragic, too, because learning to pay attention is no small matter. Any skill we develop or any subject we study is predicated upon our ability to stay focused.
Therefore, a child who learns to focus well will learn more; a child who learns more will become smarter.
No rocket science here; it's just common sense. The tragedy is that our children are not learning to focus, they are not being well-educated, and, quite frankly, our sinking literacy rates indicate that our kids are not growing up to be as intelligent as they could be either.
First, let's qualify what we mean by "children." It would make sense that the ability to focus for longer periods would run parallel with the development of the long term memory, which begins around the third year of life.
In order to remember something, we have to stay focused on it long enough to remember it.
The idea of expecting a child under the age of three to sustain his focus is preposterous; I’m sure no one is doing this! But as the child matures, his ability to focus should increase as well.
If it is not increasing, it is most likely because the child's environment is not conducive towards learning how to pay attention and stay focused.
Children develop these skills through the practice of doing them. The question we should be asking is not why so many of our children have ADHD, but how we can create environments for our children that are conducive towards developing the skill of paying attention and staying focused.
If we are not providing this kind of an environment for our children, then, yes, the fault lies with us.
Expect your children to listen to you without interruption. Much of the problem we are dealing with is that children are confused about who is in charge, thanks to all of the proven-not-to-work parenting theories that have been thrust on us since the 1950s.
Our job is to raise civilized human beings. Civilized human beings in little bodies learn how to focus, because they have parents who train them to listen when they speak, do their chores when they are told to, and generally behave in well-mannered ways.
Create an environment for your children to move around and explore and be independent. Young children have an insatiable curiosity, and this curiosity will lead them to an infinite number of things they will want to pay attention to, all of which will help develop their ability to focus.
This presupposes your children are not in a preschool, not sitting in front of a television, and not playing with your smart phone.
Keep quality literature in every room in your house for your older children to read. Read stories to all of your children and raise them to read quality books for fun. Reading requires focus. Reading, or listening to someone else read, will strengthen the focus muscle.
4. Keep your children away from screens! Keep your children away from screens! I'm sorry to tell you this, but there is no way around it. If you want to raise smarter, happier, well-mannered children, you will need to keep them off of screens. The idea that you can limit their screen time when they are young is rubbish.
If I'm the only one who is telling you this, it is because I have done my research, I am willing to go against the grain to say what is true, even when it is unpopular, and because I have no financial interest in saying the opposite.
The research tells us to keep screens out of our children’s lives.
It's like putting a child who can't swim into the deep end of a pool, and telling him he can have five minutes in the water. A screen-fed child will drown his mind in a dumbed-down world of distraction and action-packed entertainment.
How will such a child ever learn how to think for himself?
Think of it this way: when your children are zoning out in front of a screen, they are not reading, socializing, or playing. And they are certainly not doing their chores!
When your children get older and develop a reading habit, consider introducing a movie on the weekends.
Until then, screens will only be an obstacle to engaging in activities that will help your children develop physically, emotionally, and neurologically, all of which will help to strengthen their ability to focus and pay attention.
Don’t miss our free download, 31 Screen-Free Activities to Support Your Child’s Developing Brain.
Teach your child to read before sending him to school! Learn more about Elizabeth's unique course, How to Teach Your Child to Read and Raise a Child Who Loves to Read.
When you join the Smart Homeschooler Academy online course for parents, Liz will share her 6-step framework, so you can raise children of higher intelligence, critical thinking, and of good character.
As a homeschooler, you will never have to worry about failing your children, because working with Liz, you will feel confident, calm, and motivated; as she guides you to train your children’s minds and nurture their characters.
For parents of children under age seven who would like to prepare their child for social and academic success, please begin with Elizabeth’s singular online course, Raise Your Child to Thrive in Life and Excel in Learning.
Elizabeth Y. Hanson is a homeschooling thought-leader and the founder of Smart Homeschooler.
As an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach, she has 21+ years of experience working in education.
Developing a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child, based on tradition and modern research, and she devotes her time to helping parents to get it right.
Elizabeth is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.
"I know Elizabeth Y. Hanson as a remarkably intelligent, highly sensitive woman with a moral nature and deep insight into differences between schooling and education. Elizabeth's mastery of current educational difficulties is a testimony to her comprehensive understanding of the competing worlds of schooling and education. She has a good heart and a good head. What more can I say?”
—John Taylor Gatto Distinguished educator, public speaker, and best-selling author of Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling
"No matter what I do, it never seems to be enough!" is a typical complaint from your average 21st-century parent.
While parents are understandably frustrated, they're little ones are growing up to become entitled adults.
Common strategies employed to battle the empidemic of ingratitude are not working either. The Sermon is a perfect example of a strategy that has failed our children.
We lecture our kids to be grateful for what they have, and our lectures fall on deaf ears. They have no idea what we are talking about. For the most part, they always had what they need and gotten what they wanted.
And even if they did register what we said, poor character traits are not conquered by lecturing.
Better not to let the trait develop in the first place!
“Take full account of what Excellencies you possess, and in gratitude remember how you would hanker after them, if you had them not.”
— Marcus Aurelius
The secret, therefore, to teaching your children to appreciate the things you provide for them is to raise them to be minimalists. The less they have, the more appreciative they'll be when you give them more.
The less you indulge them with their wants, the less they'll come to expect them. When you do give your children a want, they'll be grateful, and they won't forget to say thank you.
The words of true gratitude will come roaring out of them, no prodding needed.
A minimalist philosophy isn't restricted to material goods either. You can apply it to all aspects of your children’s lives by saying “no” to them more than you say “yes.”
John Rosemond calls it Vitamin N. It's not that you want to become a contrarian and rigidly oppose everything your children ask for, but raise them to understand that their wants are not your primary concern.
“Piglet noticed that even though he had a Very Small Heart, it could hold a rather large amount of Gratitude.”
— A. A. Milne, Winnie the Pooh
Provide your children with the things they need for emotional, physical, spiritual, and intellectual growth, but raise them to understand that the goal of your life is not to indulge them but to raise them well.
This isn't to say that you should never accommodate their wants, but don't make it a habit to give your children too much of what they ask for because children can ask for a lot.
What is the rule of when to give and when to give not?
It’s simple: say no 75% of the time and say yes 25% of the time. If you practice this ratio of yes’s to no’s, you’ll see the gratitude scale climb steadily in your home.
A golden parenting rule to remember is that you aren't responsible for making your children happy; that’s up to them to figure out.
And they’ll discover the secret to happiness much faster when you indulge them less.
Don’t miss our free download, Ten Books Every Well-Educated Child Should Read.
Teach your child to read before sending him to school! Learn more about Elizabeth's unique course, How to Teach Your Child to Read and Raise a Child Who Loves to Read.
When you join the Smart Homeschooler Academy online course for parents, Liz will share her 6-step framework, so you can raise children of higher intelligence, critical thinking, and of good character.
As a homeschooler, you will never have to worry about failing your children, because working with Liz, you will feel confident, calm, and motivated; as she guides you to train your children’s minds and nurture their characters.
For parents of children under age seven who would like to prepare their child for social and academic success, please begin with Elizabeth’s singular online course, Raise Your Child to Thrive in Life and Excel in Learning.
Elizabeth Y. Hanson is a homeschooling thought-leader and the founder of Smart Homeschooler.
As an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach, she has 21+ years of experience working in education.
Developing a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child, based on tradition and modern research, and she devotes her time to helping parents to get it right.
Elizabeth is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.
"I know Elizabeth Y. Hanson as a remarkably intelligent, highly sensitive woman with a moral nature and deep insight into differences between schooling and education. Elizabeth's mastery of current educational difficulties is a testimony to her comprehensive understanding of the competing worlds of schooling and education. She has a good heart and a good head. What more can I say?”
—John Taylor Gatto Distinguished educator, public speaker, and best-selling author of Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling
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