Tears of Trauma
A kindergarten teacher once told me that the first two weeks of school she spends consoling the tearful children.
Look at it from a child's perspective: parents are a child’s rock and then the parents leave the child in a strange place, with strange people. The child feels abandoned by his parents. You can imagine the anxiety it might provoke.
As you know, children's needs are very simple. They need to feel safe. They need to feel loved. They need to feel protected.
However, when a child’s emotional needs are not met from situations like going to school at early ages, it can interfere with the development of the nervous system.
We also know that children as young as five years of age now suffer from problems, such as anxiety and depression, which are ailments of the nervous system.
America is also struggling with an overgrowth of narcissistic people, which can stem from emotional trauma during childhood; such as emotional or physical abuse, as well as excessive praise and unrealistic expectations.
On top of that, children are not wired to sit at desks at early ages. This is a bigger problem for boys than girls because boys have more restless energy than girls, which is why the ADHD epidemic has affected more boys than it has girls.
The Rush to Label Children
When I look at the symptoms of ADHD, including hyperactivity, lack of focus with boring activities, a struggle to listen, and saying inappropriate things, it sounds to me like the typical behavior of a young child.
When I look at the suggestions for non-medical treatment, it includes, lo and behold, exercise! In other words, movement, which is exactly what young children need.
We are too quick to label our young ones rather than face the obvious: our societal expectations of children are unrealistic.
Another non-medical treatment is behavior therapy! I know from my work as a parenting coach that most parents are failing to teach their children how to listen when they are spoken to. Listening is a skill, but it is also common courtesy.
One symptom that I find utterly ridiculous, and I'm sure you will, too, is the inability to maintain focus when a child is not interested in the task in hand. Well, who doesn't have trouble focusing when they are not interested in something?
The Problem of Focus
Have you ever tuned out at a boring lecture or a repetitive task? I know I have! I'll be washing dishes and my mind has taken me to the Piazzo Della Signoria and has me sipping on a hot cappuccino on a cold winter day.
If I can't stay focused on a boring lecture or mindless household tasks, what hope is there for a little child when he's bored by what he's been told to do?
What little boy wants to compute a row of additional problems when he could be outside fighting dragons? Or remember his spelling list correctly when he could be searching for a lost treasure?
Or try to decode some letters on a page when he could be fighting a villain with a magic sword?
The life of a little boy is so much more exciting that the dictates of a schoolteacher. Rather than acknowledge and accommodate the needs of our children, we drug them to fit our school agendas.
Children are not wired to begin academic learning at early ages. They need to reach a certain level of development neurologically, emotionally, and physically to be ready to sit at a desk and study academic subjects; such as reading, writing, and arithmetic.
“You’re braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.”
When we deprive our children of the joy of fighting dragons, searching for lost treasures, and magic sword fights, we do it at the expense of their development.
We have been putting our kids into early learning programs since the 1970s, and it is no accident that the mental health issues amongst children has been rising since then, as well.
Homeschooling Breeds Happier Kids
But mental and emotional well-being scores differently for homeschooled kids. The studies have shown that homeschooled kids are emotionally stronger than schooled kids, at least I can speak for kids who are homeschooled without government help because these are the kids the researchers have studied.
(If your children are in virtual schools, the virtual schools might be contributing to emotional problems, such as anti-social behavior and a loss of interest in normal childhood activities.)
“What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.”
Raymond Moore studied the research on early education and his conclusion was that "...warm and consistent proximity to one's parents until age 8 appeared to be a greater predictor of eventual stability and cognitive maturity than any special effort toward cognitive development."
When you homeschool your children, they do not experience the stress to their developing nervous systems that schooled kids might experience. Nor do they have to begin academic studies before they are developmentally ready.
On the contrary, you get to decide when your child is ready to sit down and apply his mind to academic subjects.
We have plenty of studies now that show children are better at home; free from the company of strangers, free from the confines of a school desk, and free from the demands of unrealistic academic expectations.
Homeschooled kids continue to feel safe, loved, and protected long after the academic years of learning begin. They are also free to roam for as long as they need to, so they can reap all of the developmental benefits that come with a "free-range" childhood.
And this is why it makes sense that homeschooling is better for a child's emotional health.
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Elizabeth Y. Hanson is a homeschooling thought-leader and the founder of Smart Homeschooler.
As an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach, she has 23 years of experience working in education.
Developing a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child, based on tradition and modern research, Liz devotes her time to helping parents to get it right.
Liz is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.
"I know Elizabeth Y. Hanson as a remarkably intelligent, highly sensitive woman with a moral nature and deep insight into differences between schooling and education. Elizabeth's mastery of current educational difficulties is a testimony to her comprehensive understanding of the competing worlds of schooling and education. She has a good heart and a good head. What more can I say?”
—John Taylor Gatto Distinguished educator, public speaker, and best-selling author of Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling. For a copy of The Short Angry History of Compulsory Schooling, click here.
