3 Ways Homeschooled Kids Get Behind→

An idea that gets thrown around in the homeschooling community is that wherever your kids are is "exactly where they are meant to be". 

However, unless we are speaking philosophically about the nature of being, it isn't exactly true.

It's a useful concept to remember in moments when, for example, we just missed a plane to China, lost a lot of money in the stock market, or our two-year old destroyed our living room, but not when it comes to our children's education.

When it comes to our children's education, we need to be on top of our game, so we can help them get the most out of their prime learning years. 

Optimal Learning Windows

Children have windows of optimal learning, and when we miss these windows, we fail to optimize our child's learning potential.

For example, grammar is not a subject that we should teach a child who is 5 or 6, but if a child does not know his 8 parts of speech by the time he's 9 or 10, well, in my book, that's a little behind.

If your child is 10 years old and can't read, that's a little behind. 

This idea that we are "never behind" is empty rhetoric, and we should reject it. 

We can get our kids behind what they are capable of learning when we are not diligent homeschoolers. 

Here are 3 ways we hinder our children from reaching their full learning potential:

1. Using substandard Programs

If we are doing public-school-at-home or using a virtual, state-approved homeschool program, our children are not going to get the same quality of education they might get if we followed a more serious education model.

Why go to all the trouble of homeschooling and then teach our kids exactly what the state is teaching in school?

2. Failing to Plan

I'm not a natural planner, but I have learned over the years that having a solid plan in place increases our chances of reaching our goals, including our homeschooling goals. 

While planning is an essential part of reaching goals, the way we get there never precisely matches the way we planned to get there, but we still need to do our planning. If not, we could end up anywhere.

Aren't you more focused when you have a deadline to meet? What about when you have limited time to complete something? Think about how quickly you clean your house after hearing that an unexpected guest is coming!

A plan allows us to put the structure in place and create deadlines, so we have a greater chance of reaching our goals. If I only have from 9 - 1 to work with my kids, I’m going to stay a lot more focused than when I have no start or ending time.

“Action without planning is the cause of all failure. Action with planning is the cause of all success.”

— Brian Tracy

When we don't add structure our homeschooling days any little thing that comes up can distract us. And each distraction is one more thing that gets in the way of our kids moving ahead. 

3. A Misguided Attitude

I am guilty of calling homeschooling a lifestyle as much as the next person, but is it? A lifestyle is the style in which we live in the same way that we have a style in which we dress. Some people dress in expensive designer clothes, and others dress in second-hand clothes. Some people dress casually; others dress formally.

So yes, we have different homeschooling lifestyles, but regardless, we want to remember that first and foremost, homeschooling is a job.

While we aren’t heading off to the local school every morning as an employed teach might, we have chosen the path of being a self-employed teacher to our children.

“You can’t go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending.”

— C. S. Lewis

Of course, things will happen and throw us off schedule, but they should be the exception, not the norm.

Also, the "behind" we refer to is in relation to the public school objectives. But we want our goals for our kids to be higher; we want to help them maximize their best learning and work hard to give them the education they deserve.

Conclusion

When all is said and done, as long as you are using a sound curriculum, you understand what kids need to learn and how to teach them, your kids are listening to you and doing their work, and you are doing your very best, your kids will probably be ahead—not behind—and exactly where they should be!

Don’t miss our free download, Ten Books Every Well-Educated Child Should Read.

Teach your child to read before sending him to school! Learn more about Elizabeth's unique course, How to Teach Your Child to Read and Raise a Child Who Loves to Read.

For parents of children under age seven who would like to prepare their child for social and academic success, please begin with Elizabeth’s singular online course, Raise Your Child to Thrive in Life and Excel in Learning.

When you join the Smart Homeschooler Academy online course for parents, Elizabeth will make homeschooling manageable for you. She’ll guide you in helping your kids reach their intellectual potential and developing good character.

As a homeschooler, you will feel confident, calm, and motivated knowing you have the tools and support you need to homeschool successfully.

Elizabeth Y. Hanson is a homeschooling thought-leader and the founder of Smart Homeschooler.

As an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach, Elizabeth has 21+ years of experience working in education.

Developing a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child, she devotes her time to helping parents get it right.

Elizabeth is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.

"I know Elizabeth Y. Hanson as a remarkably intelligent, highly sensitive woman with a moral nature and deep insight into differences between schooling and education. Elizabeth's mastery of current educational difficulties is a testimony to her comprehensive understanding of the competing worlds of schooling and education. She has a good heart and a good head. What more can I say?”

—John Taylor Gatto Distinguished educator, public speaker, and best-selling author of Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling

The Productive Mother's Homeschooling Routine→

We know the hours can easily disappear when we don't have a schedule in place for our day, especially when homeschooling.

“Every minute you spend in planning saves 10 minutes in execution; this gives you a 1,000 percent Return on Energy!”

— Brian Tracy, author of Eat that Frog!

To reach your new homeschool year’s goals, you want to set your days up for success.

Otherwise, you’ll feel overwhelmed and exhausted scrambling to get everything done after you’ve run out of time. In other words, you won’t get it done.

It happened to me, and it’ll happen to you too if you don’t watch out!

One way to be more productive during the day is to create a morning routine.

HOW TO PLAN YOUR MORNING

Planning your morning is a matter of working backwards, starting with the night before. You have to decide what time you will go to sleep, so you get enough sleep to wake up at the optimal time to perform your morning routine.

As a mother of two, the morning hours were important to me as they are probably important to you. Waking up an hour or so before your children will give you a less harried start on the day.

To create your morning routine, you have to first decide what are the important things you want to do as a part of your routine.

Whatever you decide, write your schedule down on paper so you can see it in front of you. Pin it to the wall or wherever you want to put it to remind yourself of each step. You want to follow a certain order too, so your routine becomes a habit you don’t have to think about.

After coffee, you read for 30 minutes; after reading, you go for a 30-minute walk and so forth.

The things you write down will be your morning ritual. It’s sounds so simple, but it will have a huge impact on how much you get done. Planning a routine is also a proactive strategy which will serve to keep your stress levels down as well.

But it doesn’t stop there, not when you have kids!

THE OFFSPRING RITUAL

You want to follow your morning ritual with what I call the Offspring ritual.

Teach your children to get into the habit of getting up at a certain hour each day and performing their morning ritual. Maybe they start their day by brushing their teeth and then chatting with you for 10 or 15 minutes to reconnect after a good night’s sleep.

After a good chat, they run off to get dressed, put their dirty clothes in the hamper, make their beds, and come in for breakfast at a designated time.

(Eating on a schedule is much better for your children’s health than eating at random meal times.)

Depending on how you set things up, you can prepare breakfast while they are getting ready or you can enjoy another cup of coffee and wait for them to help you prepare it.

After a relaxed breakfast, the children clean up while you get ready to teach And that’s why we also need a homeschool ritual.

After you finish eating breakfast with your children, you will head to your homeschool room and examine your plan for the day and prepare to teach your children.

Once your mind is in gear for teaching, you can ring your school bell!

THE HOMESCHOOLING RITUAL

A general rule is to teach your most essential subjects first, the ones that if there were an interruption to your day, you could still relax knowing you'd gotten those finished.

Language arts and math for the morning hours work well.

Give your children 2-minute breaks when they begin to get restless, so they can stretch, run around the block, or jump on a trampoline. Getting a good dose of oxygen into their brains will replenish their thinking energy.

You want to schedule a long lunchtime break when they can eat and then go outside and play for a while.

Let the morning hours be the more intense hours of study, and in the afternoon you can take it easy. Read some history, do a science experiment, or read a story out loud. Some days you may have outings planned with other homeschoolers.

Always make sure you children have enough some time to read or pursue their hobbies; practice an instrument, do some artwork, or play a sport.

On the days when you stay home, try to finish homeschooling around the same time each day, so everyone has leisure time before dinner including, and most importantly, yourself!

Final Reminders

If you create a schedule and adhere to it, you will prevent your day from slipping right past you. Otherwise you’ll find that too many times the afternoon has rolled around, and you have barely made it past grammar.

“Excellence / Perfection is not a destination; it is a continuous journey that never ends.”

— Brian Tracy

The key to your success with keeping a routine is to keep in mind that we are not perfect beings and some days we will falter in our plan. We don’t tell ourselves we are hopeless at sticking to a plan, as this will reinforce that behavior.

Instead we get up the next day with a new intention, and we start all over again. Eventually, we will get better and discover the freedom and ease that comes with keeping to a plan not to mention more productive homeschooling days!

Don’t miss our free download, Ten Books Every Well-Educated Child Should Read.

Teach your child to read before sending him to school! Learn more about Elizabeth's unique course, How to Teach Your Child to Read and Raise a Child Who Loves to Read.

For parents of children under age seven who would like to prepare their child for social and academic success, please begin with Elizabeth’s singular online course, Raise Your Child to Thrive in Life and Excel in Learning.

When you join the Smart Homeschooler Academy online course for parents, Elizabeth will make homeschooling manageable for you. She’ll guide you in helping your kids reach their intellectual potential and developing good character.

As a homeschooler, you will feel confident, calm, and motivated knowing you have the tools and support you need to homeschool successfully.

Elizabeth Y. Hanson is a homeschooling thought-leader and the founder of Smart Homeschooler.

As an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach, Elizabeth has 21+ years of experience working in education.

Developing a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child, she devotes her time to helping parents get it right.

Elizabeth is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.

"I know Elizabeth Y. Hanson as a remarkably intelligent, highly sensitive woman with a moral nature and deep insight into differences between schooling and education. Elizabeth's mastery of current educational difficulties is a testimony to her comprehensive understanding of the competing worlds of schooling and education. She has a good heart and a good head. What more can I say?”

—John Taylor Gatto Distinguished educator, public speaker, and best-selling author of Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling

Raising Stellar Kids Begins With Our Habits!→

We impact our children’s character development every single day through our own behavior.

Yet, we don’t stop often enough to reflect upon the messages we send our children through our words and actions — even the expressions on our face.

For example, a common habit which we all have today is spending time on our phones around our children.

The typical scenario looks like this: We’re texting a friend or maybe we’re surfing the web when the child asks for something. We reply by telling him to wait as we continue looking at our screen.

The child begins to whine, and we mumble to him that we’ll be there in a second. But we’re not there in a second.

The message a child gets is that the phone is more important than he is.

“Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home.”

— Phyllis Diller

Those two minutes we intend to spend on the phone can add up to hours in a day, and the hours in a day, over time, can add up to weeks and so on and so on.

To put things in perspective, in 2023, the average person will spend 3.15 hours on their phone every day; 12.6 hours per week; 50.4 hours per month; 604.8 hours per year.

You can see what a strong message we give our kids when we take a “quick” glance at our phones.

In addition, our kids will probably grow up to repeat the same pattern with their children. Don’t you find yourself repeating patterns that were once your parents?

I’m not suggesting we should cater to our child’s every whim, only that we should be diligent in the way we show up for our kids.

We can replace the smartphone with any bad habit, such as, eating junk food or eating too much; not exercising, using bad language, not keeping our word, gossiping, telling too many “white” lies, or working too much.

Our bad habits become examples for our children, so if we want to raise our kids well, we have to start by working on ourselves.

“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit. ”

— Aristotle

Raising kids above the fold takes a combination of factors and one of these factors is our own habits.

We need to reflect on our habits because it’s easy to go through life oblivious to things that seem inconsequential at the moment, but with time they become lessons we teach our children, for better or for worse.

Let’s take inventory of our habits; the things we think, say, and do — are they messages that will serve us and serve our children well over time?

If not, let’s work to replace those bad habits with good habits.

Start with one bad habit, conquer it, and then choose another. To try and tackle many bad habits at once would be to invite defeat. One step at a time in replacing the bad with the good while we adopt better habits for ourselves.

Be specific with ourselves about precisely what bad habit we are replacing with what good habit, so every time we find ourselves falling back into the bad one, we can quickly self-correct by replacing it with the good habit.

It’s not until our children are older and have developed their own habits, values, and beliefs that we come face-to-face with our own shortcomings.

We’ll naturally become more effective parents if we become aware of the little things we do that add up to the big lessons we teach.

Don’t miss our free download, Ten Books Every Well-Educated Child Should Read.

Teach your child to read before sending him to school! Learn more about Elizabeth's unique course, How to Teach Your Child to Read and Raise a Child Who Loves to Read.

For parents of children under age seven who would like to prepare their child for social and academic success, please begin with Elizabeth’s singular online course, Raise Your Child to Thrive in Life and Excel in Learning.

When you join the Smart Homeschooler Academy online course for parents, Elizabeth will make homeschooling manageable for you. She’ll guide you in helping your kids reach their intellectual potential and developing good character.

As a homeschooler, you will feel confident, calm, and motivated knowing you have the tools and support you need to homeschool successfully.

Elizabeth Y. Hanson is a homeschooling thought-leader and the founder of Smart Homeschooler.

As an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach, Elizabeth has 21+ years of experience working in education.

Developing a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child, she devotes her time to helping parents get it right.

Elizabeth is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.

"I know Elizabeth Y. Hanson as a remarkably intelligent, highly sensitive woman with a moral nature and deep insight into differences between schooling and education. Elizabeth's mastery of current educational difficulties is a testimony to her comprehensive understanding of the competing worlds of schooling and education. She has a good heart and a good head. What more can I say?”

—John Taylor Gatto Distinguished educator, public speaker, and best-selling author of Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling

What Key Trait Do Independent Thinkers Possess?→

It's easy to adorn oneself according to the latest fad, but it’s not so easy to stand in one’s truth when it goes against mob rule.

Learning to think and act independently requires courage: the courage to do what's right and just even in the face of ridicule, the loss of friends, or a loss of income.

John Taylor Gatto was an excellent example. He quit teaching when he was in his 60s, because he discovered that schools were causing more harm to children than good.

As a public schoolteacher, he believed that he was a part of the problem.

John sent an op-ed to the Wall Street Journal and announced his decision to quit teaching in schools. When you are a couple of years away from retirement and a pension plan, it takes a lot of courage to walk away.

“Character is higher than intellect.”

— Ralph Waldo Emerson

Sporting purple hair and nose rings is not a sign of an independent character. People who dye their hair crazy colors and fill their bodies with tattoos and rings are following a group-think fad in spite of their belief to the contrary.

We should teach our children to dress well and to conform to outward standards of propriety but to be nonconforming in their attitudes, beliefs and values.

Because the greater independence of the mind is not manifest outwardly; it's an inward state.

To raise our children to be independent in mind, we need to foster courage in their characters.

People often mistake courage for the absence of fear, but the absence of fear can lead to rashness. Courage is not an absence of fear, but the ability to act in spite of one’s fear.

For example, my children performed at piano recitals, recited poetry to small audiences, and attended public speaking classes. Through these kind of activities, they learned to develop their courage muscle.

Permitting your child to run into a local grocery store alone, to climb a tree, or to ride a bike for the first time are all activities that will strengthen his courage.

Every day there will be opportunities to let our children strengthen their courage.

As we know from Aristotle, and as we can observe in our own lives,  our daily habits add up to the quality of our characters.

Children like to challenge themselves, and we need to encourage them to do so. The more they learn to face challenges in spite of the difficulty or discomfort, the more courage they develop.

“It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare.”

— Mark Twain

Having courage will also help to preserve their moral integrity, because having moral integrity requires us to stand in our truth both privately and in public.

Someone once told me that I needed to develop a “public” persona. In other words, I should have two selves; one for the public and one for my private life.

But I believe the goal is to have one self.

As Shakespeare said in Hamlet:

“This above all: To thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man.”

Don’t miss our free download, Ten Books Every Well-Educated Child Should Read.

Teach your child to read before sending him to school! Learn more about Elizabeth's unique course, How to Teach Your Child to Read and Raise a Child Who Loves to Read.

For parents of children under age seven who would like to prepare their child for social and academic success, please begin with Elizabeth’s singular online course, Raise Your Child to Thrive in Life and Excel in Learning.

When you join the Smart Homeschooler Academy online course for parents, Elizabeth will make homeschooling manageable for you. She’ll guide you in helping your kids reach their intellectual potential and developing good character.

As a homeschooler, you will feel confident, calm, and motivated knowing you have the tools and support you need to homeschool successfully.

Elizabeth Y. Hanson is a homeschooling thought-leader and the founder of Smart Homeschooler.

As an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach, Elizabeth has 21+ years of experience working in education.

Developing a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child, she devotes her time to helping parents get it right.

Elizabeth is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.

"I know Elizabeth Y. Hanson as a remarkably intelligent, highly sensitive woman with a moral nature and deep insight into differences between schooling and education. Elizabeth's mastery of current educational difficulties is a testimony to her comprehensive understanding of the competing worlds of schooling and education. She has a good heart and a good head. What more can I say?”

—John Taylor Gatto Distinguished educator, public speaker, and best-selling author of Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling

4 Strategies to Raise Low-Tech Kids Who Excel Academically and Socially→

We are now raising kids in a cultural environment that is not conducive to developing good social skills or well-trained minds.

Your biggest obstacle to raising solid kids today is technology. You will first need to understand just a little about how technology affects the growing brain, and then I’ll share my 3 strategies for raising kids who excel socially and academically.

Your Child’s Precious Brain Cells

Did you know your child is born with about 100 billion brain cells and that these cells make trillions of connections with one another during his first three years of life?

And did you know that those very connections form the foundation of his intelligence?

Yet, because of the overuse of technology, too many children are not receiving adequate stimulation during the pre-adolescent years which inhibits the formation of new neural pathways.

On top of that, if they don’t sufficiently use the pathways they have formed; the unused pathways will be sloughed off at adolescence.

“Technology: ‘the knack of so arranging the world that we don’t have to experience it.”

— Max Frisch, c.1960s

Simply put, despite the generous pediatric recommendations, if your child is in the habit of using technology, chances are there may be some delays and possible disruption to his developmental processes. 

I am going to be blunt with you: if your child is using technology, he may not become as intelligent as a child who has a tech-free childhood. It is the obvious conclusion when you understand how technology affects the growing brain. 

What Can A Parent Do?

With our children being targeted by educational software companies, and with the gaming industry's enormously powerful lobby, navigating a world with less technology does require some effort. 

It is possible and you can do it, however, you must be intentional if you want to raise an intelligent, ethical, critically-thinking child.

There are 4 things you can do which will protect your child mind, and by default, make your life easier. .

Strategy #1: Out of Sight, Out of Mind

The first action you can take is to remember that your children will not ask for technology if they don't see you using it or see it in the home.

Therefore, out of sight, out of mind. 

Host your television and computer in your bedroom and / or office, and, for the most part, keep yourself unplugged during the time that you spend with your children. 

As far as your home is concerned, it's really that simple.

“I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.”

— Groucho Marx

Strategy #2: Going Against the Grain

When you visit friends, don't be shy to let them know that you are raising your children in a low-tech zone and that you prefer your children play with their kids rather than plugin together. 

After all, that’s why you brought them over—to play together.

When it comes to our children's well-being, we have to stand up for what is best for them, even if we get slack from others.

We have to remind ourselves that our child’s well-being is more important to us than what others think about our choices.

Fortunately, most intelligent and reasonable parents will respect your request. (If they don't, you may want to question the value of their friendship.)

Strategy #3: The Forbidden Apple Syndrome

Here is the crux of the matter, though: You absolutely must find like-minded family and friends to raise your children with.

You cannot be the only parent to say "no" to technology; otherwise, technology is exactly what your child will seek out the minute he leaves home. We call it the Forbidden Apple syndrome.

If you don’t find like-minded friends, your children will see you as the odd parent who doesn’t like technology.

“If it keeps up, man will atrophy all his limbs but the push-button finger.”

— Frank Lloyd Wright

Underneath this new attitude towards you will be one of disrespect. It's the curse of raising kids in the West where mainstream practices are not often what’s best for our children.

What if you can’t find like-minded friends? The sad answer is that you will probably have to compromise a little to avoid the Forbidden Apple syndrome.

#4 Homeschool Your Kids

When you homeschool your children, it is much easier to keep them off screens. As a homeschooler, you will hopefully raise strong readers, and strong readers excel academically.

Instead of giving your kids screens, you will give them real books.

Your child will develop better social skills by being homeschooled, too. He will not be exposed to the negative social environment so prevalent in schools today. Instead, you will raise him to have good manners and teach him how to get along with other people.

Good social skills are much easier to develop if a child is being homeschooled. It has been studied and proven to be true.

Therefore, keep your kids off of screens!

It must follow, as the night, the day,* they will do better academically and socially.

---

A line from Hamlet by William Shakespeare

Don’t miss our free download, Ten Books Every Well-Educated Child Should Read.

Teach your child to read before sending him to school! Learn more about Elizabeth's unique course, How to Teach Your Child to Read and Raise a Child Who Loves to Read.

For parents of children under age seven who would like to prepare their child for social and academic success, please begin with Elizabeth’s singular online course, Raise Your Child to Thrive in Life and Excel in Learning.

When you join the Smart Homeschooler Academy online course for parents, Elizabeth will make homeschooling manageable for you. She’ll guide you in helping your kids reach their intellectual potential and developing good character.

As a homeschooler, you will feel confident, calm, and motivated knowing you have the tools and support you need to homeschool successfully.

Elizabeth Y. Hanson is a homeschooling thought-leader and the founder of Smart Homeschooler.

As an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach, Elizabeth has 21+ years of experience working in education.

Developing a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child, she devotes her time to helping parents get it right.

Elizabeth is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.

"I know Elizabeth Y. Hanson as a remarkably intelligent, highly sensitive woman with a moral nature and deep insight into differences between schooling and education. Elizabeth's mastery of current educational difficulties is a testimony to her comprehensive understanding of the competing worlds of schooling and education. She has a good heart and a good head. What more can I say?”

—John Taylor Gatto Distinguished educator, public speaker, and best-selling author of Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling

The Secret to Raising Grateful Children→

"No matter what I do, it never seems to be enough!" is a typical complaint from your average 21st-century parent.

While parents are understandably frustrated, they're little ones are growing up to become entitled adults.

Common strategies employed to battle the empidemic of ingratitude are not working either. The Sermon is a perfect example of a strategy that has failed us.

THE SERMON

We lecture our kids to be grateful for what they have, and our lectures fall on deaf ears. They have no idea what we are talking about. For the most part, they always had what they need and gotten what they wanted.

And even if they hadn’t, poor character traits are not conquered by lecturing and “ingratitude” is a poor character trait.

Better not to let the trait develop in the first place!

“Take full account of what Excellencies you possess, and in gratitude remember how you would hanker after them, if you had them not.”

— Marcus Aurelius

THE SECRET

The secret, therefore, to teaching your children to appreciate the things you provide for them is to raise them to be minimalists. The less they have, the more appreciative they'll be when you give them more.

The less often you indulge them with their wants, the less they'll come to expect them. When you do give your children a want, they'll be grateful, and they won't forget to say thank you.

The words of true gratitude will come roaring out of them, no prodding needed.

A minimalist philosophy isn't restricted to material goods either. You can apply it to all aspects of your children’s lives by saying “no” to them more than you say “yes.”

John Rosemond calls it Vitamin N. It's not that you want to become a contrarian and rigidly oppose everything your children ask for, but raise them to understand that their wants are not your primary concern.

“Piglet noticed that even though he had a Very Small Heart, it could hold a rather large amount of Gratitude.”

— A. A. Milne, Winnie the Pooh

Provide your children with the things they need for emotional, physical, spiritual, and intellectual growth, but raise them to understand that the goal of your life is not to make them happy but to raise them well.

This isn't to say that you never accommodate a want of theirs, but don't make it a habit to indulge them too much.

What’s the rule?!

It’s simple: say no 75% of the time and say yes 25% of the time. If you practice this ratio of yes to no’s, you’ll see the gratitude scale climb steadily in your home.

A golden parenting rule to remember is that you aren't responsible for making your children happy; that’s up to them to figure out.

And they’ll discover the secret to happiness much faster if you indulge them less.

Don’t miss our free download, Ten Books Every Well-Educated Child Should Read.

Teach your child to read before sending him to school! Learn more about Elizabeth's unique course, How to Teach Your Child to Read and Raise a Child Who Loves to Read.

For parents of children under age seven who would like to prepare their child for social and academic success, please begin with Elizabeth’s singular online course, Raise Your Child to Thrive in Life and Excel in Learning.

When you join the Smart Homeschooler Academy online course for parents, Elizabeth will make homeschooling manageable for you. She’ll guide you in helping your kids reach their intellectual potential and developing good character.

As a homeschooler, you will feel confident, calm, and motivated knowing you have the tools and support you need to homeschool successfully.

Elizabeth Y. Hanson is a homeschooling thought-leader and the founder of Smart Homeschooler.

As an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach, Elizabeth has 21+ years of experience working in education.

Developing a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child, she devotes her time to helping parents get it right.

Elizabeth is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.

"I know Elizabeth Y. Hanson as a remarkably intelligent, highly sensitive woman with a moral nature and deep insight into differences between schooling and education. Elizabeth's mastery of current educational difficulties is a testimony to her comprehensive understanding of the competing worlds of schooling and education. She has a good heart and a good head. What more can I say?”

—John Taylor Gatto Distinguished educator, public speaker, and best-selling author of Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling

5 Reasons Why Leisure Time Matters More than Extra-Curricular Activities

We over schedule our children and fail to recognize the inherent harm in making extra-curricular activities a priority in our family's life.

Let's look at the consequences of hyper-scheduling our kids.

1. Stress levels increase for everyone

2. No one has time to discover the simple pleasures of life

3. Family time is compromised

4. Too Many Missed Family Meals 

5. Exhaustion

Yet, our minds and our bodies crave and need downtime to relax and experience life at a slower pace. Our children's needs aren't any different.

Why Leisure Time Matters More

Hobbies

Children need leisure time to learn how to entertain themselves with hobbies like needlepoint, knitting, collecting stamps, or building model airplanes. Maybe they want to explore the outdoors or build something from scratch. Hobbies give us something to look forward to no matter how young or how old we are. During rough patches in life, our hobbies will keep us moving forward.

Social Skills

Leisure time also allows children to go outdoors and play with the neighborhood kids or visit a friend, both of which are crucial to developing good social skills. 

“Time is a game played beautifully by children.”

— Heraclitus

Read a Book

And sometimes, like us, a child just wants to lie down and read a book. There are a lot of reasons why children don't read today, but one of them may be that they don’t have enough leisure time to develop the habit of reading.

Family Time

When each child has multiple extra-curricular activities, there's little time for shared activities as a family. 

Your family time begins to revolve around extra-curricular activities; in other words, family life becomes less o a priority than extra-curricular activities.

Exhaustion

Some children need more downtime than others. The over-scheduling of their day can result in fatigue and a loss of enthusiasm. The underlying stress of having too much to do can make them irritable and unpleasant to be around.

We all know what it feels like to be exhausted!

Too Many Missed Family Meals

Often the extra-curricular activities take place in the evenings leaving no one home to cook or serve a family meal. Consequently, the family eats with dad while you rush Tommy to soccer practice. 

We know the importance of family meals for children. The more family meals you share, the fewer problems your kids will have. Children need to feel emotionally connected to their family, and meal times is one of the critical ways in which they can connect.

According to research, having family meals at least 4 times a week lowers the risk of obesity, substance abuse, eating disorders, and an increased chance of graduating from high school.

Putting It into Perspective

What's more important at the end of the day?

When your children are grown will it be more important that your kids were in a lot of activities or that your family has a strong bond which keeps you together whether your kids live near you or not.

Instead of over-scheduling your children, in addition to their homeschooling subjects, which would include sports, let them take one class in something they enjoy doing. But don’t let their classes interfere with meal times or weekend activities.

And make sure your children have enough leisure time to figure out where their interests lie and what they're good at. 

“If you are losing your leisure, look out! — It may be you are losing your soul.”

— Virginia Woolf

Don’t miss our free download, Ten Books Every Well-Educated Child Should Read.

Teach your child to read before sending him to school! Learn more about Elizabeth's unique course, How to Teach Your Child to Read and Raise a Child Who Loves to Read.

For parents of children under age seven who would like to prepare their child for social and academic success, please begin with Elizabeth’s singular online course, Raise Your Child to Thrive in Life and Excel in Learning.

When you join the Smart Homeschooler Smart Homeschooler Academy online course for parents, Elizabeth will make homeschooling manageable for you. She’ll guide you in helping your kids reach their intellectual potential and developing good character.

As a homeschooler, you will feel confident, calm, and motivated knowing you have the tools and support you need to homeschool successfully.

Elizabeth Y. Hanson is a homeschooling thought-leader and the founder of Smart Homeschooler.

As an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach, Elizabeth has 21+ years of experience working in education.

She has developed a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child, and she devotes her time to helping parents to get it right.

Elizabeth is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.

The Importance of Being Mother & 3 Reasons Why No One Can Replace You→

On Motherhood.

Maternal Instinct

The motherhood of mammals has a divine quality to it. It’s the quality of an unconditional desire to protect our young. Elephants have it, bears have it, and even platypuses have it. It’s called a “maternal” instinct, which science is now busy trying to disprove, at least in human mothers. 

“ Motherhood is near to divinity. It is the highest, holiest service to be assumed by mankind. ”

— Howard W Hunt

I’ve noticed in studying the animal kingdom that when a mother, such as an elephant, is traumatized, it can reject its young, but this is rare. Under normal healthy circumstances, the maternal instinct is alive and thriving. We will do anything in our power to protect our offspring.

There is an unforgettable scene in the Greek play Alcestis when the father and mother of Admetus refuse to give up their lives to save their son, even though they are old,

Admetus, in turn, states that they are not his birth parents. If they were, they would have forfeited their lives to save their child.

Yes, we will do even that.

Maternal Intuition

When we are intimately bound through our bodies to a child for nine months, a deep connection develops, and the maternal intuition arguably develops through that connection.

Most of us can sense when something is right or wrong, but as a mother, that intuitive sense extends to our babies. We feel their impending danger as if it were our own.

Any mother will tell you how many times she suddenly had the urge to immediately stop what she was doing and check on her child, who was just about to hurt himself.

A mother’s instinct is an inherent life preservation system for her offspring.

Compassion

What children develop when we care for them, especially breastfeeding and carrying our young, is compassion. 

Our legislators ask big questions today, such as, “Why are Americans so violent?” Well, has anybody in our government stopped to question our attitudes towards motherhood and our subsequent treatment of our children?

We hardly offer maternity leave for mothers who need to work, and we promote this idea that women only have a “life” if they work. Hence, too many mothers are under pressure to put their young ones into daycares and preschools, sometimes as early as two weeks old!

Who is showing these children compassion when their mother is absent? And this is no criticism on mothers; I was a working mother. It’s a criticism of a society that undervalues the importance of motherhood.

And besides, being a mother is having a life; it’s a beautiful and meaningful life. 

“An ounce of motherhood is worth a pound of clergy.”

— Rudyard Kipling

Dr. Stuart Brown, a play expert, said that he studied compassion and found that African people were more compassionate than Western people. He attributed this to African mothers carrying their babies on their backs until the babies could walk.

Elephants keep their offspring beside them for the first ten years. The more developed the brain, the longer the mammalian offspring will stay with its mother. 

We Are Raising the Next Generation

Is there a more important job than that of being a mother? Traditionally, we raise our young to grow up to lean either on the side of good or bad character.

Our children are with us more than anyone else during their early years. We are helping them form and develop their emotional foundation for life. We are teaching them how to become a civilized human being.

“ Give me a child before he is seven, and I will show you the man.”

— Aristotle

They love us, and they look up to us, and we have their attention. When we establish a healthy balance between love and authority, our children will learn to obey us.

When they obey us, we can teach them right from wrong and how to be polite, kind, considerate human being who cares about the well-being of others.

Of course, this is assuming we are all of these things!

No one is perfect, but we do our best to improve ourselves and to provide a good role model for our children knowing that in our children's eyes, we are God-like. 

It is we who are raising the next generation; and it is too critical of a role to leave it to anybody else. 

As you can see from the above, there are more than 3 reasons for why no one can replace you!

☞ Disclaimer: This is not a politically-correct blog.

Don’t miss our free download, Ten Books Every Well-Educated Child Should Read.

For parents of children under age seven who would like to prepare their child for social and academic success, please begin with Elizabeth’s original online course, Raise Your Child to Thrive in Life and Excel in Learning.

When you join the Smart Homeschooler Academy online course for parents, Elizabeth will guide you in homeschooling with the classics for superior intellectual and character development.

As a homeschooler, you will feel confident knowing you have the guidance and support you need to homeschool successfully.

Would you like to teach your child to read? Learn more about Elizabeth's unique course, How to Teach Your Child to Read and Raise a Child Who Loves to Read.

Elizabeth Y. Hanson is a homeschooling thought-leader and the founder of Smart Homeschooler.

As an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach, Elizabeth has 21+ years of experience working in education.

She has developed a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child, and she devotes her time to helping parents to get it right.

Elizabeth is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.

10 Foolproof Ways to Convince Your Spouse (or Anyone) to Homeschool→

If your husband or wife’s mind is already set against homeschooling, you have to approach the situation very gingerly. It’s not wise to push our views on someone, least of all a spouse.  

“It is time that we squarely face the fact that institutional schoolteaching is destructive to children.”

— John Taylor Gatto

Usually when a spouse doesn’t agree with homeschooling, it’s because he doesn’t understand what John Taylor Gatto refers to as "the dangers of public school."

The Conversation

But you can start the conversation by asking your spouse a question, such as, "What are your hopes and goals for our children’s education?"

You have now opened the channels for him to let you know his hopes and goals in a non-threatening way. As he shares these with you, listen for his concerns too.

Once you’ve got a friendly discussion going, approach the subject of homeschooling.

If you were to consider homeschooling, would he have any objections or concerns? If so, what would those be?

The Objections

The typical objections to homeschooling are the following:

• The children will be academically behind and fail to get into a reputable college.

• Homeschooled kids lack good social skills.

• Homeschooled children don’t have any friends.

• You aren’t qualified to homeschool unless you’re an accredited teacher.

• You aren’t qualified to homeschool unless you have a college degree.

Maybe your husband doesn't know any homeschoolers and the idea sounds too fantastic to him?

Keep in mind that your spouse wants what is best for his children just as much as you do.

The Persuasion

Whatever his objections are, you want to take note and ask him if he would be open to watching some videos on the subject, looking at some research, or even reading some books together.

If you keep the conversation neutral and show a genuine interest in his views and concerns, most reasonable husbands will oblige their wives. 

Now, here comes the tricky part: you will need to provide him with information that is sound and relevant.

No need to panic though because we have you covered. You can download our free resource list to convince anyone about the merits of homeschooling.

The list will provide you with 10 resources to educate your husband (or anyone) about the the many problems with public school and why homeschooling is the best option today. 

This resource is also helpful if you have family members or friends who are strongly opposed to homeschooling.

Grab your free download here: 10 Resources to Convince Anyone About the Merits of Homeschooling.

Once someone truly understands what is fundamentally wrong with public school, it is near impossible to put a child into it unless the person has no other choice.

Some Cautionary Advice

Be careful about taking the attitude of proving your spouse wrong. No one likes to be proven wrong, and trying to show your spouse that you were right will not help your cause. 

Instead, you want to humble yourself and be gentle in the way you handle the situation.

Go slowly.

When someone has a fixed opinion, it’s prudent to allow time for that person to shift into a new mindset.

Start early by educating your spouse when your children are young.

By the time they are ready to go to school, hopefully, you'll both be excited about homeschooling! 

“School is a twelve-year jail sentence where bad habits are the only curriculum truly learned. I teach school and win awards doing it. I should know.”

— John Taylor Gatto

Don’t miss our free download, Ten Books Every Well-Educated Child Should Read.

Become a Smart Homeschooler to raise smart, ethical, and critically-thinking children. Join the Smart Homeschooler Academy online course and feel secure knowing that you have what you need to homeschool successfully as well as live ongoing support from Elizabeth.

For parents of children under age seven who would like to prepare their child for social and academic success, please begin with our online course, Raise Your Child Well to Thrive in Life and Excel in Learning.

Elizabeth Y. Hanson is an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and a Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach with 20+ years of experience working in children’s education.

Utilizing her unusual skill set, coupled with her unique combination of mentors, Elizabeth has developed a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child. She devotes her time to helping parents get it right.

☞ Disclaimer: This is not a politically-correct blog.

5 Strategies to Nurture Your Child’s Curiosity→

A friend showed me a clip of her nine-month-old baby.

I looked into the baby's eyes as I watched the video. The intense alertness that I witnessed, the acute observation of each facial move she saw in her mother's face, was fascinating.

The baby wanted to know how to make the same expressions her mother was making.

It's the intense desire to know that all healthy children possess, yet what happens to their curiosity as they grow a little older?

Why do so many children forsake that infinite sense of wonder that’s so innate to each of us? 

“No thief, however skillful, can rob one of knowledge, and that is why knowledge is the best and safest treasure to acquire.”

— L. Frank Baum

One of the reasons for this is because too many children start school at young ages. By the time they reach kindergarten or first grade, the light of curiosity begins to dim.

Think about it. If your child has a small shovel in his hand, but every time he tries to shovel something his teacher tells him to stop, he will eventually stop picking the shovel up.

When a child cannot follow the lead of his curiosity, or is not in an environment where he can exercise his desire to know, he will put his curiosity on the shelf.

Yet, the level of his curiosity is related to his intelligence. The more curious he is, the more he will exercise his mind to discover or learn something. To lose his curiosity would be a tragedy because it means he would never fully develop into all that he can be.

We cannot let this happen! Therefore, if you want to encourage your child’s natural curiosity, whether it has been dimmed or not, here are five things you can do:

1. If you have to put your child into an outside program, look for a daycare or preschool that is play-based and ideally held in the outdoors, such as a Forest School. Make sure they are operated by people who understand what children need at these tender ages.

2. Do not entertain your child! It is not that you don't ever play with your child, but only that you do not become his full-time playmate. Allow him to follow the dictates of his curiosity and figure things out for himself, so he develops his mind. Children are little scientists by nature. In the right environment, they will learn how to entertain themselves. 

3. Be curious yourself. Take your child into the outdoors and explore with him. Let him walk barefoot on fallen leaves and dip his feet into spring water to awaken his senses. Bring his attention to the songs of birds and the rustling of the trees as the wind blows through them. Collect a bug or two and read about them when you get home.

4. Immediately remove all screens from your child's life both inside and outside the home. Under no circumstances should you hand him your cell phone to quiet him because you are busy. Screens are a cause of a dimming curiosity; not only that but they will thwart your child's brain development. 

5. Lastly, if you can, don't put your child into any school programs until he is at least ten years old. Until then, teach him yourself because so many learning problems take root during those early years. The first few grades of elementary school are easy to teach when you know what you are doing. 

Here’s a thought: our ability to excel, to become the best version of ourselves, begins with our desire to know.

“An investment in knowledge always pays the best interest.”

— Benjamin Franklin

Let’s work to keep our children’s curiosity alive—even if that means teaching them ourselves— so they can become all that they can be.

☞ Disclaimer: This is not a politically-correct blog.

Don’t miss our free download, Ten Books Every Well-Educated Child Should Read.

When you join the Smart Homeschooler Academy online course for parents, Elizabeth will guide you in homeschooling with the classics to raise brighter and more creative children.

Enroll using the link below and feel confident knowing you have the guidance and support you need to homeschool successfully.

For parents of children under age seven who would like to prepare their child for social and academic success, please begin with Elizabeth’s original online course, Raise Your Child to Thrive in Life and Excel in Learning.

Elizabeth Y. Hanson is a homeschooling thought-leader and the founder of Smart Homeschooler.

As an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach, Elizabeth has 21+ years of experience working in education.

She has developed a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child, and she devotes her time to helping parents to get it right.

Elizabeth is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.

*****

“Elizabeth has given us counseling and guidance to help us succeed with our home school planning. When I feel overwhelmed, scared, or lose my confidence, she offers words of wisdom and support.”

— Sherry B., Pittsburg, PA