How Do You Teach Your Child to Be Creative? 

Modern sciences tells us that to a significant degree,  we wire our own brains. So how does the brain get wired for creativity? Why are some people more creative than others? Can we teach creativity?

To the latter two questions, some people will always be "more" than others—let's not put our attention there—and, contrary to what many experts believe, creativity cannot be taught. 

Creativity is not a skill that someone can teach us, such as we might learn critical thinking skills from a logic teacher or how to play the piano from a piano teacher, because creativity is more like curiosity. 

We can't teach a child to be curious because children are born curious, but we can teach a child not to be curious. We do this very successfully in school where children learn to curb their questions or stop asking them at all.

And what a tragedy because curiosity is at the root of creativity and creativity is at the root of genius. 

Do you ever wonder what great contributions to the world and to humanity have we missed because of our factory school model? 

I don’t want a nation of thinkers. I want a nation of workers.
— John D. Rockefeller

According to the late scientist, George Land, we can also teach children not to be creative, yet, without creativity, there is no genius.

Creative people are curious about the external world, the internal world, and the world of possibility. Creative people connect unrelated ideas to form an original idea. They find solutions to problems that others can't see. They imagine what could be and bring it to life. 

They are the creators. 

But curiosity can’t be all a child needs because all healthy children are born curious. Enter George Land, who did a creativity study for NASA, and what came out of that study was the realization that 98% of children have imaginations that operate in the zone of genius, until they go to school.

I’ve concluded that genius is as common as dirt. We suppress genius because we haven’t yet figured out how to manage a population of educated men and women. The solution, I think, is simple and glorious. Let them manage themselves.
— John Taylor Gatto

But that study was conducted in the 1968. A lot has changed since then, and, besides the problem of school, there are a lot of other factors contributing to dull minds. 

So how do we get it right today? Consider that your child is like a garden you want to grow, so you have fresh vegetables, fruits, and flowers. 

You have cleared the ground, prepared the soil, created rows, and planted seeds according to kind.

But that's not all that’s required of you to produce a vibrant, healthy garden. You have to water the plants, make sure they get the right amount of sunshine, and sometimes shade, and make sure the soil has the right combination of minerals to nurture the plant. 

Children, like plants, also need the right kind of environment in order for their creativity to bloom and blossom. Let's look at a few of the many ways in which you can adjust your child's environment to help nurture his creativity. 

1. BE THERE

Science tells us that stress kills creativity. I know this is true, and I'm sure you do too. It's difficult to be creative when we have a lot of stress because our energy goes towards dealing with overwhelming challenges in order to meet our basic needs and responsibilities. What time is there left for being creative?

Children also experience stress. It's critical to their neurological and emotional development  that they feel safe, loved, and cared for. Children need a home environment that meets these needs, which means that they also need us. 

The worst environment for a young child is daycare, preschool, kindergarten, first grade, and even second grade, according to an analysis of approximately 8000 early childhood studies conducted by Dr. Raymond Moore in the 1970s. 

One of the many things he discovered is that if children are kept out of school until they are about age ten, they will experience better mental and emotional health. Let me take the liberty of adding that common sense dictates they will be more creative too. 

2. FREE TO ROAM

 Unstructured play is critical for raising a child who is creative. Play-based programs are not bad but they are not beneficial either, unless you need a break. And, let's be honest, it isn't easy raising children without extended family help. Some of us need more breaks than others, and that's okay.

Structured play found in programs deprives children of the kind of play that comes from within, which is the best kind for developing creativity.  As long as you aren't about to pull your hair out, I'd opt for unstructured play over play programs.

Play serves many purposes, all of which are fundamental to the healthy development of a child, and one of them is developing the imagination which make-believe play nurtures.

For example, a child can turn a box into a castle and he will see a castle, he won't see a box. The last thing we want to do is to tell him to "put the box away!" Children encounter problems in their free play which they need to solve. All problems require creative solutions to solve them.

3. STAY OUT OF THE WAY

A child who can help himself should always be encouraged to help himself. Say your child decides that he wants to draw a bird, but every time he draws the bird he messes up the bird's beak. Now he whines from frustration. You don't want to step in and help him. 

Let him learn to work through his frustration now rather than getting into the habit of falling apart when things don't go the way he wants them too. 

Parents should not agonize over anything a child does or fails to do if the child is perfectly capable of agonizing over it himself.
— John Rosemond, Parenting Guru

Habits like "easy-to-get-frustrated" are not easy to break as adults, and they will get in the way of your child's ability to function in a healthy, productive way as an adult. 

Tough love means being willing to let our children experience uncomfortable emotions, so they learn to accept them as part of life's journey without losing hope and giving up too soon. How else will they be able to accomplish anything? 

4. Rhymes, Rhymes, and More Rhymes

Read rhymes to your children and play rhyming games with them to build their creativity muscle. You say a word or sentence and they have to find a word or sentence that it rhymes with. 

Fairy tales will also stimulate a child's imagination, especially if the book contains few to no illustrations.

Children love picture books, and these kind of books have their place, but without the pictures, children use their imaginations to conjure up the scene in their mind. This also makes reading more enjoyable for them. 

Have you ever read a book and then watched the film it was based on? There is nothing worse than having a perfectly imagined character in your mind, only to have Hollywood ruin it for you. After that, you will always see the Hollywood actor, never your original creation. 

5. A NO-BRAINER

If you've been reading my weekly  blog posts, you know what I am going to say next don't you?

Absolutely no screens for your budding genius! Nothing will kill a child's memory, imagination, or curiosity faster than screen use. 

The bad news is that if all of their friends are using screens, you may not want to become the "problem" parent. I don't recommend it because the screen becomes the forbidden apple, and your kids will flock to them as soon as they get the chance. 

When I was young, my mother threw out all of the white sugar in the house. I used to go to my best friend's horse and eat sugar from the sugar bowl. You don't want your children doing this with screens.

The good news is that if you are able to recruit other parents  or find parents whose children are screen-free, then your children will think a screen-free childhood is what's normal. Sadly, it isn't, but they don't need to know this right now. 

Did you know that there are many young adults now who are disappointed with their parents for letting them have screens and phones when they were younger?

Please, please, please don't let your child be one of them!

If you follow the guidelines here, your children will be developmentally ahead of most of their peers who are in school and using screens, and they'll be well on their way to living a more productive and enriching life.

Don’t miss your free download:

10 Books Every Well-Educated Child Should Read


Get a copy of Liz’s “could not live without” book, Education’s Not the Point: How Schools Fail to Train Children’s Minds and Nurture Their Characters with groundbreaking Essays on educating your kids by John Taylor Gatto, Dorothy Sayers, and Liz herself.


About Elizabeth Y. Hanson

Developing a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a “whole” child, based on tradition and modern research, Liz devotes her time to helping parents to get it right.

Liz is a homeschooling thought-leader, as well as the creator of three unique online courses, Raise Your Child Well: Preserving Your Child's Natural Genius by Laying a Solid Foundation During the First Seven Years; the Smart Homeschooler Academy, educating children who are brilliant, happy, and well-socialized; and How to Teach Your Child to Read and Raise a Child Who Loves to Read.

As an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach, Liz has 23 years of experience guiding parents through the amazing journey of raising and educating their children.

Liz is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.

"I know Elizabeth Y. Hanson as a remarkably intelligent, highly sensitive woman with a moral nature and deep insight into differences between schooling and education. Elizabeth's mastery of current educational difficulties is a testimony to her comprehensive understanding of the competing worlds of schooling and education. She has a good heart and a good head. What more can I say?”

John Taylor Gatto Distinguished educator, public speaker, and best-selling author of Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling. For a copy of The Short Angry History of Compulsory Schooling, click here.

Online Dictionary or a Book Dictionary: Which Makes Kids Smarter?

Online dictionaries, which I use frequently, and real-book dictionaries offer very different experiences. The question is, does using one versus the other make our children smarter? 

In order to answer this question, let me tell you the story of what led me to ask it. In that story lies the answer.

You see, in my home, I always had a huge copy of The American Heritage Dictionary, so big that it was not always easy to move around the house.

It was the dictionary my kids grew up using when they needed to look up a word. 

(Mine was an earlier edition)

Because I live overseas right now, said dictionary was sadly abandoned to a storage unit, which is why I've grown used to the ease of an online dictionary.

I can take my online dictionary anywhere I go and it weighs under a pound, being housed in my smartphone. 

Tired of looking up Turkish words online (I'm slowly learning Turkish), because it forced me to turn on my phone while I was trying to study, so I had an idea: why not buy a pocket hand-held English/Turkish dictionary? 

And then the other day something strange happened. 

On this particular day, I was looking up how to say "stove top," because my stove top quit working, and I needed to call a repairman.

If Language is not correct, then what is said is not what is meant. If what is said is not what is meant, then what ought to be done, remains undone.
— Confucious

But, as I was looking up "stove top," I started to read about the words I met on my way to finding "stove top," and what I realized was that I missed reading dictionaries!

My mind started to go back to my youth and how my siblings and I used to have a lot of fun playing dictionary games. 

One of us would pick a word and ask the others what it meant. Whoever knew the meaning and gave the best guess scored a point.

The game was fun, which is why we made it up, but we were also encountering new words and improving our vocabularies.

As children, however, we didn't think about the learning aspect, but that's exactly the point. We were having fun playing with words and, at the same time, developing an appreciation for and a knowledge of them. 

Uttering a word is like striking a note on the keyboard of the imagination.
— Ludwig Josef Johann Wittgenstein

We often read the dictionary for fun, too, because when a child develops a love of words, reading a dictionary is fun. 

As I was reading these additional words in my new Turkish dictionary, I started to think about the experience of looking a word up online, and it dawned on me that I never encounter additional words online. 

I look up one word, and that's all I ever see. It's a very limited experience, and while I may learn the definition of one word, my learning ends there. 

Nor is an online dictionary much fun. I suppose it might be for a ten-year-old child, but mind-stunting fun is not what our kids need, especially at such young ages. 

What I realized is that children who grow up using online dictionaries will never experience the joy of a hand-held dictionary, and they'll never invent dictionary games with their siblings. 

But more importantly, never—during a search for one word's meaning—will they ever learn about the other words they encounter along the way.

Because they won't encounter any. 

Which translates into the likelihood of their having smaller vocabularies and, therefore, less ability to think at wider and deeper levels because we need words to think with!

Let me state the obvious: thinking that's limited because of a reduced vocabulary equals a limited mind. 

The limits of my language means the limits of my world.
— Ludwig Wittgenstein

Would it be fair to say that kids who grow up using hand-held dictionaries are smarter? We'll have to wait for a future researcher to tell us the answer, but until then, I'm going to err on the side of they just may be!

Don’t miss your free download:

10 Books Every Well-Educated Child Should Read


Get a copy of my “could not live without” book, Education’s Not the Point: How Schools Fail to Train Children’s Minds and Nurture Their Characters with groundbreaking Essays on educating your kids by John Taylor Gatto, Dorothy Sayers, and yours truly.

About Elizabeth Y. Hanson

Developing a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a “whole” child, based on tradition and modern research, Liz devotes her time to helping parents to get it right.

Liz is a homeschooling thought-leader, as well as the creator of three unique online courses, Raise Your Child Well: Preserving Your Child's Natural Genius by Laying a Solid Foundation During the First Seven Years; the Smart Homeschooler Academy, educating children who are brilliant, happy, and well-socialized; and How to Teach Your Child to Read and Raise a Child Who Loves to Read.

As an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach, Liz has 23 years of experience guiding parents through the amazing journey of raising and educating their children.

Liz is available for one-on-one parenting and homeschooling consultations.

"I know Elizabeth Y. Hanson as a remarkably intelligent, highly sensitive woman with a moral nature and deep insight into differences between schooling and education. Elizabeth's mastery of current educational difficulties is a testimony to her comprehensive understanding of the competing worlds of schooling and education. She has a good heart and a good head. What more can I say?”

John Taylor Gatto Distinguished educator, public speaker, and best-selling author of Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling. For a copy of The Short Angry History of Compulsory Schooling, click here.

3 Reasons to Raise Your Children in a Bubble

Our children, as you know, are impressionable. The things impressed upon them when young are difficult, if not impossible, to erase later.

One of the advantages when homeschooling is that we get to raise our children in a bubble, something I'm pretty sure Socrates would approve of. 

A teacher affects eternity; he can never tell where his influence stops.
— Henry Adams

We can choose to expose our children to the kind of literature, people, and experiences that will model the behavior we want them to embody as adults. When we do this, they get the kind of impressions when young that lead to happy lives when grown. 

#1 The Quality of Literature Matters

Reading quality literature is critical too. When we read stories about virtuous people and unethical people, and the righteous people win in life and the wretched people don't, your children are learning that happiness comes with goodness.

The ancient Greeks taught us this many centuries ago, and fortunately, modern psychology has caught up with the past. 

We can all agree now, I hope, that goodness leads to happier lives! 

Another thing the ancient Greeks taught us is that when we normalize unsavory behavior in our children’s lives, such as letting them read the wrong kind of literature or watch the wrong kind of films, our children are more inclined to excuse it in themselves.

#2 The Quality of Company Matters

When choosing the families you decide to surround your family with while raising your children, choose families who share your values and beliefs, whatever they are. We influence one another just by being in each other's company, and our children are influenced too. 

I hold that a strongly marked personality can influence descendants for generations.
— Beatrix Potter

If you have friends who have qualities that you admire, raise your children to be close to them. As adults, my children will visit my friends, even when I'm out of town! Of course, now they are "our" friends, but I love that my children have close relationships with so many good people. 

Friends who have special talents, such as musicians, poets, and artists, or friends who are skilled professionals, such as lawyers, doctors, and writers, may not only influence your children, but they may inspire one of them to follow the same path. 

Sometimes we overlook the little things, but it's those little things, such as what books we read to our children, what friends we keep, and what environments we create, that make the biggest differences for who our children grow up to become. 

That's why often you'll see that parents who are intellectuals will raise children who are intellectuals, athletes will raise children who are athletes, and artists will raise children who are artists.

#3 The Quality of the Environment Matters

Environment matters more than we may realize. If our children are surrounded by books, they'll read; if they are surrounded by sports equipment, they'll play sports; if they are surrounded by live music in the home, they'll play an instrument.

I didn't understand these things when my children were young like I understand them now, but I was fortunate in that I come from a big family. My children grew up in the company of intellectuals, artists, musicians, writers, lawyers, entrepreneurs, teachers, gourmet cooks, and sportsmen of all kinds.

My children had a lot of great influences in their childhoods, and that's exactly what you want for your children. If you don't have the luxury of coming from a big family with a lot of varied interests and skills, then seek those people out and welcome them into your family’s life.

Against the Bubble Argument

When I was homeschooling, I remember a neighbor complaining to me that I was raising my children in a bubble, and when my children grew up, they would not know how to function in the world.

I am a thousand times better: I am an honest woman, and as such I will be treated.
— Charlotte Bronte, Shirley

Well, they grew up and proved that person wrong. So will yours. Protect your children’s innocence for as long as you can, raise them on quality literature and surround them with excellent people.

Keep an engaging but pristine environment for them and then sit back and watch them blossom into grown people with whom you feel grateful to have in your life.

Don’t miss your free download6 Reasons Homeschooled Kids Have Better Social Skills.


Get a copy of Liz’s “could not live without” book, Education’s Not the Point: How Schools Fail to Train Children’s Minds and Nurture Their Characters with groundbreaking Essays on educating your kids by John Taylor Gatto, Dorothy Sayers, and Liz herself.


About Elizabeth Y. Hanson

Developing a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a “whole” child, based on tradition and modern research, Liz devotes her time to helping parents to get it right.

Liz is a homeschooling thought-leader, as well as the creator of two unique online courses, Raise Your Child Well: Preserving Your Child's Natural Genius by Laying a Solid Foundation During the First Seven Years and the Smart Homeschooler Academy: Homeschooling the "Whole" Child for a Well-Trained Mind and Character

As an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach, Liz has 23 years of experience raising children and working in education.

Liz is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.

"I know Elizabeth Y. Hanson as a remarkably intelligent, highly sensitive woman with a moral nature and deep insight into differences between schooling and education. Elizabeth's mastery of current educational difficulties is a testimony to her comprehensive understanding of the competing worlds of schooling and education. She has a good heart and a good head. What more can I say?”

John Taylor Gatto Distinguished educator, public speaker, and best-selling author of Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling. For a copy of The Short Angry History of Compulsory Schooling, click here.

#1 Huge Mistake Parents Are Making

No parent would want to raise their child to be less intelligent than he could be.

Yet, every single day, around the world, parents are doing one critical thing that gets in the way of their children’s intellectual development. 

Their children are spending way too much time on screens. Whether it’s for educational purposes or simple entertainment, screens are screens. 

The Hard Facts

From one study by Hikaru Takeuchi, et al, “Excessive internet use is shown to be cross sectionally associated with lower cognitive functioning and reduced volume of several brain areas.

According to Common Sense Media’s latest research, 50% of teens report that they feel addicted to their phones while 59% of their parents say the teens are addicted.

That’s a lot of teens who are addicted to their phones.

The younger a child is, the more damaging technology is to the development of his brain. This is a hard fact of science.

Effects on the Growing Brain

Technology use in childhood interferes with the neural connections in the brain, and it is the neural connections that make up our intelligence. 

Logic would have it that the less neural connections a brain makes, the less intelligent an individual would become. 

We are seeing first-hand the evidence of the numbing effect technology has on children’s minds with a new generation of tech babies who have come of age.

There are so many studies reporting the ill effects of technology on the brains of children.

It cannot be argued otherwise unless you have billions of dollars and spread false propaganda to sell your products like the video game lobby does.

Video games alone pull in 300 billion dollars per year! The industry pays lobbyists to convince congressmen that video games are beneficial.

Inability to Focus and ADHD

We know that technology use interferes with our ability to focus. With so many children playing video games, and so many children diagnosed with ADHD, I wonder how much technology has to do with it?

Maybe instead of medicating our kids, we removed technology from their lives, they might learn to focus better. 

So many adults self-label themselves with ADHD when they don’t have ADHD. People say it so often that it’s become a euphemism for a lack of focus. 

The hard facts of the matter are that we’re spending too much time online. 

True Story

I spoke with a woman once who lost her son to technology. He became addicted as a teenager, and when he finally recovered, she said he was never the same kid.

She didn’t have a strong connection with him like she had with her other children, because the technology had damaged his brain. 

It was a heartbreaking story, and one that will be shared with more and more parents until we come to terms with the truth about technology.

We will serve our children best by getting rid of the gadgets. And be willing to deal with the complaints and the anger your kids will probably display for the first few weeks, because eventually, they’ll get over it. 

You don’t want to lose your kids to technology, as so many parents have. We now have a plethora of addiction centers for withdrawing from technology because the addiction is real.

And each child with a device is a potential victim. 

If you have your kids online for school, drop that too. Homeschooling offline is much easier, more rewarding, and more enjoyable. 

May we ditch the brain-draining, mind-numbing screens and provide our children with a more brain-activating, mind-developing experience instead.

Don’t miss our free downloadTen Books Every Well-Educated Child Should Read.

Teach your child to read before sending him to school! Learn more about Elizabeth's unique course, How to Teach Your Child to Read and Raise a Child Who Loves to Read.

For parents of children under age seven who would like to prepare their child for social and academic success, please begin with Elizabeth’s singular online course, Raise Your Child to Thrive in Life and Excel in Learning.

When you join the Smart Homeschooler Academy online course for parents, Elizabeth will make homeschooling manageable for you. She’ll guide you in helping your kids reach their intellectual potential and developing good character.

As a homeschooler, you will feel confident, calm, and motivated knowing you have the tools and support you need to homeschool successfully.

Elizabeth Y. Hanson is a homeschooling thought-leader and the founder of Smart Homeschooler.

As an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach, Elizabeth has 21+ years of experience working in education.

Developing a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child, she devotes her time to helping parents get it right.

Elizabeth is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.

"I know Elizabeth Y. Hanson as a remarkably intelligent, highly sensitive woman with a moral nature and deep insight into differences between schooling and education. Elizabeth's mastery of current educational difficulties is a testimony to her comprehensive understanding of the competing worlds of schooling and education. She has a good heart and a good head. What more can I say?”

John Taylor Gatto Distinguished educator, public speaker, and best-selling author of Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling

Should You Teach Your Children That "He" Is a Politically-Incorrect Pronoun?

No, because it is potentially dangerous not to teach the grammatically correct usage of “he.”

In Defense of Language

Defenders of language are opposed to the idea of gender-neutralizing language, as are many, many others.

So I was not a little taken aback when a friend told me that I should replace the pronoun "he" with "they" in my writing.

Her concern was that people would think I was literally writing about boys rather than understanding "he" is a centuries-old pronoun that stands in place of an antecedent noun that could be of either sex.

Dumb-founded by my friend’s reasoning, I asked a couple of my grammarian friends if they had encountered this same concern. Maybe their being British had some bearing on my findings, but each emphatically said, "No!"

If you read Mr. Gwynne's Grammar, a best seller in England, you will find a section on the use of the pronoun "he." Mr. Gwynne makes a point of differentiating between “sex” and “gender.”

The word to indicate whether someone is male or female is ‘sex,’ not ‘gender,’ which is purely a grammatical term.
— Mr. Gwynne

Basic Grammar

Assigning gender to a noun is woven into the structure of many languages, including the Romance languages. The gender of a noun will determine which form of an adjective or pronoun should accompany it.

For example, in Latin, “mensa” is a feminine noun that means "table.” To say " the beautiful table," we use the adjective’s feminine form of “beautiful” to agree with the feminine gender of “table,” hence, “mensa pulchra.”

French, Italian, Spanish, Portuguese and Romanian follow a similar structure.

As you can see, gender in language has nothing to do with an individual's biological sex regardless of claims to the contrary, although there is of course some overlap when human beings and animals of the female sex are being referred to.

As reason would have it, therefore, the correct use of the pronoun "he," to stand in place of a noun that could be of either sex, is not sexist but grammatically correct.

For example, let’s take this sentence as an example: “If we teach a child to read too early, he may struggle to read well later.”

“He” stands in the place of “child,” who could be either a boy or a girl.

I’ve studied authoritarianism for a very long time - for 40 years - and they’re started by people’s attempts to control the ideological and linguistic territory
— Jordan Peterson

Language Does Matter

Using language correctly does matter. If you’re unsure of how much our freedom of speech depends upon the correct use of language, read George Orwell’s book, 1984.

Our language is the means through which we understand ourselves and the world in which we live. When we start meddling with one of its basic units, we do so with potentially disastrous results, such as being confused about the biological difference between a man or a woman.

There's a sort of madness at play here.

My point is that if you are a homeschooling parent teaching your child English grammar, please teach him that "he" is a centuries-old pronoun and cannot be replaced with “they".

Instead, teach your child that “he” replaces the antecedent noun when the noun could be of either sex, and we cannot afford to lose him!

Don’t miss our free downloadTen Books Every Well-Educated Child Should Read.

Teach your child to read before sending him to school! Learn more about Elizabeth's unique course, How to Teach Your Child to Read and Raise a Child Who Loves to Read.

For parents of children under age seven who would like to prepare their child for social and academic success, please begin with Elizabeth’s singular online course, Raise Your Child to Thrive in Life and Excel in Learning.

When you join the Smart Homeschooler Academy online course for parents, Elizabeth will make homeschooling manageable for you. She’ll guide you in helping your kids reach their intellectual potential and developing good character.

As a homeschooler, you will feel confident, calm, and motivated knowing you have the tools and support you need to homeschool successfully.

Elizabeth Y. Hanson is a homeschooling thought-leader and the founder of Smart Homeschooler.

As an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach, Elizabeth has 21+ years of experience working in education.

Developing a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child, she devotes her time to helping parents get it right.

Elizabeth is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.

"I know Elizabeth Y. Hanson as a remarkably intelligent, highly sensitive woman with a moral nature and deep insight into differences between schooling and education. Elizabeth's mastery of current educational difficulties is a testimony to her comprehensive understanding of the competing worlds of schooling and education. She has a good heart and a good head. What more can I say?”

John Taylor Gatto Distinguished educator, public speaker, and best-selling author of Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling

Raising Stellar Kids Begins With Our Habits!

We impact our children’s character development every single day through our own behavior.

Yet, we don’t stop often enough to reflect upon the messages we send our children through our words and actions — even the expressions on our face.

For example, a common habit which we all have today is spending time on our phones around our children.

The typical scenario looks like this: We’re texting a friend or maybe we’re surfing the web when the child asks for something. We reply by telling him to wait as we continue looking at our screen.

The child begins to whine, and we mumble to him that we’ll be there in a second. But we’re not there in a second.

The message a child gets is that the phone is more important than he is.

“Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home.”

— Phyllis Diller

Those two minutes we intend to spend on the phone can add up to hours in a day, and the hours in a day, over time, can add up to weeks and so on and so on.

To put things in perspective, in 2023, the average person will spend 3.15 hours on their phone every day; 12.6 hours per week; 50.4 hours per month; 604.8 hours per year.

You can see what a strong message we give our kids when we take a “quick” glance at our phones.

In addition, our kids will probably grow up to repeat the same pattern with their children. Don’t you find yourself repeating patterns that were once your parents?

I’m not suggesting we should cater to our child’s every whim, only that we should be diligent in the way we show up for our kids.

We can replace the smartphone with any bad habit, such as, eating junk food or eating too much; not exercising, using bad language, not keeping our word, gossiping, telling too many “white” lies, or working too much.

Our bad habits become examples for our children, so if we want to raise our kids well, we have to start by working on ourselves.

“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit. ”

— Aristotle

Raising kids above the fold takes a combination of factors and one of these factors is our own habits.

We need to reflect on our habits because it’s easy to go through life oblivious to things that seem inconsequential at the moment, but with time they become lessons we teach our children, for better or for worse.

Let’s take inventory of our habits; the things we think, say, and do — are they messages that will serve us and serve our children well over time?

If not, let’s work to replace those bad habits with good habits.

Start with one bad habit, conquer it, and then choose another. To try and tackle many bad habits at once would be to invite defeat. One step at a time in replacing the bad with the good while we adopt better habits for ourselves.

Be specific with ourselves about precisely what bad habit we are replacing with what good habit, so every time we find ourselves falling back into the bad one, we can quickly self-correct by replacing it with the good habit.

It’s not until our children are older and have developed their own habits, values, and beliefs that we come face-to-face with our own shortcomings.

We’ll naturally become more effective parents if we become aware of the little things we do that add up to the big lessons we teach.

Don’t miss our free downloadTen Books Every Well-Educated Child Should Read.

Teach your child to read before sending him to school! Learn more about Elizabeth's unique course, How to Teach Your Child to Read and Raise a Child Who Loves to Read.

For parents of children under age seven who would like to prepare their child for social and academic success, please begin with Elizabeth’s singular online course, Raise Your Child to Thrive in Life and Excel in Learning.

When you join the Smart Homeschooler Academy online course for parents, Elizabeth will make homeschooling manageable for you. She’ll guide you in helping your kids reach their intellectual potential and developing good character.

As a homeschooler, you will feel confident, calm, and motivated knowing you have the tools and support you need to homeschool successfully.

Elizabeth Y. Hanson is a homeschooling thought-leader and the founder of Smart Homeschooler.

As an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach, Elizabeth has 21+ years of experience working in education.

Developing a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child, she devotes her time to helping parents get it right.

Elizabeth is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.

"I know Elizabeth Y. Hanson as a remarkably intelligent, highly sensitive woman with a moral nature and deep insight into differences between schooling and education. Elizabeth's mastery of current educational difficulties is a testimony to her comprehensive understanding of the competing worlds of schooling and education. She has a good heart and a good head. What more can I say?”

John Taylor Gatto Distinguished educator, public speaker, and best-selling author of Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling

What Key Trait Do Independent Thinkers Possess?

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It's easy to adorn oneself according to the latest fad, but it’s not so easy to stand in one’s truth when it goes against mob rule.

Learning to think and act independently requires courage: the courage to do what's right and just even in the face of ridicule, the loss of friends, or a loss of income.

John Taylor Gatto was an excellent example. He quit teaching when he was in his 60s, because he discovered that schools were causing more harm to children than good.

As a public schoolteacher, he believed that he was a part of the problem.

John sent an op-ed to the Wall Street Journal and announced his decision to quit teaching in schools. When you are a couple of years away from retirement and a pension plan, it takes a lot of courage to walk away.

Character is higher than intellect.
— Ralph Waldo Emerson

Sporting purple hair and nose rings is not a sign of an independent character. People who dye their hair crazy colors and fill their bodies with tattoos and rings are following a group-think fad in spite of their belief to the contrary.

We should teach our children to dress well and to conform to outward standards of propriety but to be nonconforming in their attitudes, beliefs and values.

Because the greater independence of the mind is not manifest outwardly; it's an inward state.

To raise our children to be independent in mind, we need to foster courage in their characters.

People often mistake courage for the absence of fear, but the absence of fear can lead to rashness. Courage is not an absence of fear, but the ability to act in spite of one’s fear.

For example, my children performed at piano recitals, recited poetry to small audiences, and attended public speaking classes. Through these kind of activities, they learned to develop their courage muscle.

Permitting your child to run into a local grocery store alone, to climb a tree, or to ride a bike for the first time are all activities that will strengthen his courage.

Every day there will be opportunities to let our children strengthen their courage.

As we know from Aristotle, and as we can observe in our own lives,  our daily habits add up to the quality of our characters.

Children like to challenge themselves, and we need to encourage them to do so. The more they learn to face challenges in spite of the difficulty or discomfort, the more courage they develop.

It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare.
— Mark Twain

Having courage will also help to preserve their moral integrity, because having moral integrity requires us to stand in our truth both privately and in public.

Someone once told me that I needed to develop a “public” persona. In other words, I should have two selves; one for the public and one for my private life.

But I believe the goal is to have one self.

As Shakespeare said in Hamlet:

This above all: To thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man.

Don’t miss our free downloadTen Books Every Well-Educated Child Should Read.

Teach your child to read before sending him to school! Learn more about Elizabeth's unique course, How to Teach Your Child to Read and Raise a Child Who Loves to Read.

For parents of children under age seven who would like to prepare their child for social and academic success, please begin with Elizabeth’s singular online course, Raise Your Child to Thrive in Life and Excel in Learning.

When you join the Smart Homeschooler Academy online course for parents, Elizabeth will make homeschooling manageable for you. She’ll guide you in helping your kids reach their intellectual potential and developing good character.

As a homeschooler, you will feel confident, calm, and motivated knowing you have the tools and support you need to homeschool successfully.

Elizabeth Y. Hanson is a homeschooling thought-leader and the founder of Smart Homeschooler.

As an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach, Elizabeth has 21+ years of experience working in education.

Developing a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child, she devotes her time to helping parents get it right.

Elizabeth is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.

"I know Elizabeth Y. Hanson as a remarkably intelligent, highly sensitive woman with a moral nature and deep insight into differences between schooling and education. Elizabeth's mastery of current educational difficulties is a testimony to her comprehensive understanding of the competing worlds of schooling and education. She has a good heart and a good head. What more can I say?”

John Taylor Gatto Distinguished educator, public speaker, and best-selling author of Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling

Should “He” Still Be Taught in Grammar?

In Defense of Language

Defenders of language are opposed to the idea of gender-neutralizing language, as are those of us working in the field of traditional education.

And many, many others.

So I was not a little taken aback the other day when a friend told me that I should replace the pronoun "he" with "they" in my writing.

His concern was that people would think I was literally writing about boys rather than understanding "he" is a centuries-old pronoun that stands in place of an antecedent noun that could be of either sex.

Let’s take this sentence as an example: “If we teach a child to read too early, he may struggle to read well later.”

“He” stands in the place of “child,” who could be either a boy or a girl.

Surprised by my friend’s reasoning, I asked a couple of my grammarian friends if they had encountered this same concern. Maybe their being British had some bearing on my findings, but each emphatically said, "No!"

If you read Mr. Gwynne's Grammar, a best seller in England, you will find a section on the use of the pronoun "he." Mr. Gwynne makes a point of differentiating between “sex” and “gender,” the word “sex being a purely biological term and the word “gender” being a purely grammatical term.

The word to indicate whether someone is male or female is ‘sex,’ not ‘gender,’ which is purely a grammatical term.
— Mr. Gwynne

Basic Grammar

Assigning gender to a noun is woven into the structure of many languages, including the Romance languages. The gender of a noun will determine which form of an adjective or pronoun should accompany it.

For example, in Latin, “mensa” is a feminine noun that means "table.” To say " the beautiful table," we use the adjective’s feminine form of “beautiful” to agree with the feminine gender of “table,” hence, “mensa pulchra.”

French, Italian, Spanish, Portuguese and Romanian follow a similar structure.

As you can see, gender in language has nothing to do with an individual's biological or wishful sex regardless of claims to the contrary, although there is of course some overlap when human beings and animals of the female sex are being referred to.

As reason would have it, therefore, the correct use of the pronoun "he," to stand in place of a noun that could be of either sex, is not sexist but is grammatically correct.

I’ve studied authoritarianism for a very long time - for 40 years - and they’re started by people’s attempts to control the ideological and linguistic territory
— Jordan Peterson

Language Does Matter

Using language correctly does matter.

Our language is the means through which we understand ourselves and the world in which we live. When we start meddling with one of its basic units, we do so with potentially disastrous results, such as being confused about the biological difference of a man or a woman.

There's a sort of madness at play here.

My point is that if you are a homeschooling parent teaching your child English grammar, please teach him that "he" is a centuries-old pronoun and cannot be replaced with “they".

Instead, teach your child that “he” replaces the antecedent noun when the noun could be of either sex, and we cannot afford to lose him!

☞ Disclaimer: This is not a politically-correct blog.

Don’t miss our free download, Ten Books Every Well-Educated Child Should Read.

When you join the Smart Homeschooler Academy online course for parents of school-age children, we guide you in homeschooling with the classics to raise more intelligent children of a better character.

Enroll using the link below and feel confident knowing you have the guidance and support you need to homeschool successfully.

For parents of children under age seven who would like to prepare their child for social and academic success, please begin with our online course, Raise Your Child to Thrive in Life and Excel in Learning.

Elizabeth Y. Hanson is an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and a Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach with 20+ years of experience working in children’s education.

Utilizing her unusual skill set, Elizabeth has developed a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child. She devotes her time to helping parents to get it right.

She is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.

“Elizabeth has given us counseling and guidance to help us succeed with our home school planning. When I feel overwhelmed, scared, or lose my confidence, she offers words of wisdom and support.”

— Sherry B., Pittsburg, PA