Simply put, if your child is engaged in regular technology use chances are there will be some delays and possible disruption to his developmental processes. We see this statistically with 15% of children being labeled learning-disabled and 30% of this generation's children predicted to be unfit for an entry level job.
Read MoreWe've all been there. The panic that sets in when you fear your child is behind the others. Maybe your best friend's child is reading three letter words and yours doesn't have an interest in memorizing the alphabet, let alone reading a book.
Read More
Often as busy parents trying to keep up in a frenzied world, the last thing we seem to have time for is reminding our young children to put their shoes away, pick up their toys, or make their beds.
Yet, this is precisely the time to teach our children these things. If we don't teach them good habits now, we will inadvertently teach them bad habits they will struggle with later.
Often times these struggles become a lifetime’s.
“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.”
I have a friend who told me that from a very young age his mother taught him, over and over again, to fold his bath towel and hang it up after he used it.
Eventually, said friend learned to fold his towel without thinking about it. It had become a rock-solid habit.
As an adult, he told me that his wife loved how he always left his towel neatly folded and hanging on the towel rack. The right habits will even help our children become better spouses!
Good habits are the foundation of our characters; our characters are built upon good habits. Therefore, when we help our children form the right habits, we are also helping them in developing good character traits.
We want to raise children who shine; who are bright lights in a world that seems to have lost its way.
Arguably, one of the most difficult but important aspects of parenting is consistency. We have to have the habit of being diligent! I always tell people my favorite perk to homeschooling was educating myself, and it is the same thing with parenting.
The more we improve our own habits, the better positioned we are to help our children develop habits that support them in fulfilling their dreams in life.
While we guide our children on the path of becoming their very best, we get to work on becoming our very best too.
One habit you might think about developing now because it will have a huge impact on your child’s level of education is a reading habit. When children see us read, they’ll read too.
The more they read, the more they learn. The more they learn, the smarter they become.
“Nothing so needs reforming as other people’s habits.”
Another habit might be the habit of discipline. Discipline is easily taught when children develop a skill over time, such as playing a musical instrument or becoming an advanced player of a sport. Learning a foreign language takes discipline too.
It can also be taught by doing daily chores. Anything a child has to do on a regular basis that he might not always feel like doing will help him develop discipline.
Good habits take time to develop, but once established, they make life a whole lot easier, happier, and more rewarding!
Don’t miss your free download, 6 Reasons Homeschooled Kids Have Better Social Skills.
Get a copy of Liz’s “could not live without” book, Education’s Not the Point: How Schools Fail to Train Children’s Minds and Nurture Their Characters with groundbreaking Essays on educating your kids by John Taylor Gatto, Dorothy Sayers, and Liz herself.
About Elizabeth Y. Hanson
Developing a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a “whole” child, based on tradition and modern research, Liz devotes her time to helping parents to get it right.
Liz is a homeschooling thought-leader, as well as the creator of two unique online courses, Raise Your Child Well: Preserving Your Child's Natural Genius by Laying a Solid Foundation During the First Seven Years and the Smart Homeschooler Academy: Homeschooling the "Whole" Child for a Well-Trained Mind and Character
As an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach, Liz has 23 years of experience raising children and working in education.
Liz is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.
"I know Elizabeth Y. Hanson as a remarkably intelligent, highly sensitive woman with a moral nature and deep insight into differences between schooling and education. Elizabeth's mastery of current educational difficulties is a testimony to her comprehensive understanding of the competing worlds of schooling and education. She has a good heart and a good head. What more can I say?”
—John Taylor Gatto Distinguished educator, public speaker, and best-selling author of Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling. For a copy of The Short Angry History of Compulsory Schooling, click here.
A primary concern parents often share with me is whether or not they will fail their children by homeschooling them. But there's a more tangible concern lurking here, and that concern is whether or not their children will be able to get into a good college.
If we don’t ask the right questions, we won’t get the right answers. So, let’s look at the college question a little differently.
What if we asked this question instead: what do the top colleges look for when choosing their students? Once we know the answer to this question, then we can ask the next question: how do we educate our children to meet this criteria?
To answer the former question, I'm going to repeat what John Taylor Gatto once shared at an education conference I hosted for him.
He said that he once asked a Harvard admissions officer what they looked for when deciding who to accept into their college. The officer replied that they looked for two things:
Applicants that they believed would become rich
Applicants they believed would become famous
Their reasoning was that these students—once they become rich or famous—would donate generously to the college because private colleges rely largely on endowments to survive.
For example, as of 2024, Harvard has an endowment of 53 billion.
So the next question to ask is what qualities would these applicants need to achieve future financial success or fame?
To answer this question, I looked at the traits of the rich and the famous to see which traits were in both groups. Here's what I discovered: in both groups, being a visionary and non-conformist as well as having courage, resilience, and perseverance were present.
Which poses a third question: if these qualities are what the top colleges look for, then how do I raise my children to have these qualities?
Do you get the idea? Instead of focusing on the goal of getting our children into a good college, let’s focus on educating children that a good college would want to choose.
For sure, we can say that a top college does not want a student who’s had a “cookie-cutter” education!
Whether our children decide to go to a top college or not is up to them, I think, but we want to educate them to have that option, if they should choose it. Here’s how we’ll do it:
Raise your children to love reading and to read difficult literature. We gain a lot of understanding, knowledge, and insight from reading.
The more your children can expand their minds, the more they have to draw from so they can connect unrelated things to birth new ideas. Steve Jobs, Elon Musk, and Bill Gates—innovators of the postmodern world—were readers.
Ask yourself this, can a child who doesn’t enjoy reading, and therefore doesn’t read, become well-educated?
We underestimate the value of reading in a good education when we fail to give it its fair due.
Train your children in the habits of perseverance and resilience. Perseverance means that we learn to continue the course of something until we complete it.
Resilience means that we spring back in the face of failures, mistakes, or disappointments. The easiest way is to refrain from coddling your children.
Exercise tough love with your kids and have high expectations of them because they are capable of great things. I don't mean that you should be harsh with your children, but when you see them struggling with something they are trying to do, resist the urge to quell their frustration.
The struggle is part of the learning process that will allow them to reach their goal. Your children need to learn that struggling while they are trying to reach a goal is normal. If they don't learn to accept the struggle and inevitable failures, they will learn to be quitters.
We learn to disregard our common sense and gut feelings because we are conditioned in school to become good conformists. We are not born this way.
Each child is a unique individual; they stand alone as a pure original, like a Monet painting or a work of Mozart. But the school system is not designed to address a child's uniqueness. It is designed to raise sheep who are easy to manage and control.
This idea of controlling the masses goes back to Ancient Greece; it is nothing new, and you shouldn't be surprised by it. Given the history of the world, it appears to be a fact of life.
To raise non-conformists be respectful of your children's ideas, thoughts, and concerns so they gain self-confidence in their unique way of thinking.
Support them in believing in themselves because non-conformists are not necessarily rebellious people, but they are people who see things from their unique perspective, and they trust what they see.
They are not afraid to act on their visions either; they are people of courage.
Therefore, raise your children outside of the system, if possible. Homeschooling is your best option because you can tailor your children's education to meet their unique needs and interests and help them to develop the aforementioned traits.
Lastly, keep your children away from devices with screens. Screen use will interfere with all of the above and undermine your efforts to raise exceptional children.
If you can succeed in raising non-conformists, children who love reading, who are persistent and resilient,—and I believe that with the right tools you can—then enrollment into a good college will become a natural consequence.
A New Perspective
Rather than worry about failing our children, why not put our focus on discovering how to raise and educate a child with the qualities the top colleges look for, because these are the qualities that will lead them to experience more fulfilling and productive lives.
I'll leave you with a brief story about my children. When my children were accepted into colleges that impressed my friends and family, I began to receive congratulations for my homeschooling success.
I felt guilty because I had nothing to do with the college acceptance process, literally. I didn't homeschool my children with college in mind! I just did the best job I could do given my circumstances, which weren't always easy.
So when I received congratulations for their success in getting into good colleges, it felt undeserving.
But my friends and family insisted on congratulating me, and that's when I realized that congratulations were certainly due, at least in part.
I had raised and educated children who had the vision, the confidence, and the determination to get into a good college. I could take credit for this, but the rest of the credit went to my children.
Whether you have dreams of your children going to a particular college, the truth is that the quality of your children's character will determine more about their future happiness and success than which college they go to.
And once you really get this, it will take a lot of pressure off of you because you will never have to worry about "failing" your children, you only have to concern yourself about raising and educating them in the best way possible.
Don’t miss your free download, 6 Reasons Homeschooled Kids Have Better Social Skills.
Get a copy of Liz’s “could not live without” book, Education’s Not the Point: How Schools Fail to Train Children’s Minds and Nurture Their Characters with groundbreaking Essays on educating your kids by John Taylor Gatto, Dorothy Sayers, and Liz herself.
About Elizabeth Y. Hanson
Developing a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a “whole” child, based on tradition and modern research, Liz devotes her time to helping parents to get it right.
Liz is a homeschooling thought-leader, as well as the creator of two unique online courses, Raise Your Child Well: Preserving Your Child's Natural Genius by Laying a Solid Foundation During the First Seven Years and the Smart Homeschooler Academy: Homeschooling the "Whole" Child for a Well-Trained Mind and Character
As an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach, Liz has 23 years of experience raising children and working in education.
Liz is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.
"I know Elizabeth Y. Hanson as a remarkably intelligent, highly sensitive woman with a moral nature and deep insight into differences between schooling and education. Elizabeth's mastery of current educational difficulties is a testimony to her comprehensive understanding of the competing worlds of schooling and education. She has a good heart and a good head. What more can I say?”
—John Taylor Gatto Distinguished educator, public speaker, and best-selling author of Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling. For a copy of The Short Angry History of Compulsory Schooling, click here.
When parents tell me they struggle to get their children to do their lessons, there’s usually one of three possible scenarios at play:
The child's curiosity has not been nurtured properly.
The parent has not established the correct parent/child relationship.
The child was in preschool or kindergarten before being homeschooled.
Sometimes it's a combination of all three, but let's focus on the latter possibility because this is where I see a lot of parents go wrong. It is also what I did not do that contributed to my children being so easy to teach.
I did not put my children into outside programs prior to homeschooling them. It was as simple as that but it made all the difference.
When we put our children into daycare, preschool, and kindergarten programs, we not only interrupt the rhythm of our homes, but we also weaken our bonds with our children and undermine our relationship as their teacher.
When it comes to the bonds we forge with our children, think about the people in your life that you're the closest to. It's usually because you shared a common interest and spent a lot of time together that fostered your close relationship.
We naturally become closer to the people we spend the most time with.
Think of the times that you are separated from your children. Maybe you and your spouse went away for the weekend or your children spent a week with their grandparents.
Upon reuniting, there is always that sense of separation looming overhead, and it takes a few hours to get back into the rhythm of living together.
When you add up all of the hours that a child spends in school, it’s no wonder that the family bonds weaken, as Gaber Mate delineates in his book, Hold Onto Your Kids.
Being connected to and strongly bonded with our children is not a given. It comes from time spent together too. It isn't something that happens by virtue of having children; it's a relationship that's earned.
As our children grow, and as our time together increases, the bond we share grows too.
The more time we share together, the stronger that bond grows, which is why homeschooled children tend to have stronger bonds with and feel more connected to their families than schooled children.
We are also the first teachers of our children. From the minute they are born, we are teaching them how to be civilized human beings. They watch us like hawks, and they copy what we do. As they mature, we help them learn to walk, talk, and ride a bicycle.
They see us as all-knowing, and they look to us for guidance.
However, when we put our children into outside programs, we hand the role of teacher to a stranger, and our children begin to see that stranger as the "teaching" authority, not us.
So when it comes time to homeschool our children, we need to reclaim our teaching role. Until we succeed, our children may not respond to us as readily as they would have had we kept them at home.
When we keep our children home with us, homeschooling becomes a natural transition from instructing them in how to tie their shoes to one plus one makes two.
Children who are free to explore, experiment, and take risks are much easier to teach than children who are put into programs and told what to do and when to do it.
If we do put our children into daycare, preschool, or kindergarten, depending upon how long they were in said programs and how much academic work was expected of them, they may have lost some of their curiosity and desire to apply their minds to learn new things.
Without a desire to learn, it can be challenging to teach a child.
Learning is an action. What we do as teachers is provide instruction, but it is the child who must do the learning. During their early years, instead of enrolling them in programs outside the home, we want to facilitate our children in continuing to use their minds.
I use the word "continuing" because children come into the world with active minds, and their minds learn to work harder and take on bigger challenges when we allow them childhoods that facilitate the continuation of this development.
My children were always eager to learn, and the parents I work with raise children who love learning too. When our children hit their teens, we might get some rebellious behavior, which is natural, but our children are not difficult to teach.
My children were inquisitive, creative, and strong. They knew they could tackle any problem and figure out how to solve it.
The idea of being able to teach oneself, as Dorothy Sayers said, is a goal of a solid education. It's also an attitude all well-homeschooled children will adopt—the belief in their ability to learn anything.
If you want homeschooling to be a seamless transition from informal learning (how to tie a shoe) to formal academic learning (reading, writing, computing), then don't enroll your children in outside programs!
They don't need them.
Buy them shoes with laces instead and teach them how to tie their shoes. When they are a little older, teach them how to read.
Don’t miss your free download, 6 Reasons Homeschooled Kids Have Better Social Skills.
Get a copy of Liz’s “could not live without” book, Education’s Not the Point: How Schools Fail to Train Children’s Minds and Nurture Their Characters with groundbreaking Essays on educating your kids by John Taylor Gatto, Dorothy Sayers, and Liz herself.
About Elizabeth Y. Hanson
Developing a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a “whole” child, based on tradition, modern research, and experience, Liz devotes her time to helping parents to get it right.
Liz is a homeschooling thought-leader, as well as the creator of three unique online courses, Raise Your Child Well: Preserving Your Child's Natural Genius by Laying a Solid Foundation During the First Seven Years; the Smart Homeschooler Academy, educating children who are brilliant, happy, and well-socialized; and How to Teach Your Child to Read and Raise a Child Who Loves to Read.
As an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach, Liz has 23 years of experience guiding parents through the amazing journey of raising and educating their children.
Liz is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.
"I know Elizabeth Y. Hanson as a remarkably intelligent, highly sensitive woman with a moral nature and deep insight into differences between schooling and education. Elizabeth's mastery of current educational difficulties is a testimony to her comprehensive understanding of the competing worlds of schooling and education. She has a good heart and a good head. What more can I say?”
—John Taylor Gatto Distinguished educator, public speaker, and best-selling author of Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling. For a copy of The Short Angry History of Compulsory Schooling, click here.
Our children, as you know, are impressionable. The things impressed upon them when young are difficult, if not impossible, to erase later.
One of the advantages when homeschooling is that we get to raise our children in a bubble, something I'm pretty sure Socrates would approve of.
“A teacher affects eternity; he can never tell where his influence stops.”
We can choose to expose our children to the kind of literature, people, and experiences that will model the behavior we want them to embody as adults. When we do this, they get the kind of impressions when young that lead to happy lives when grown.
Reading quality literature is critical too. When we read stories about virtuous people and unethical people, and the righteous people win in life and the wretched people don't, your children are learning that happiness comes with goodness.
The ancient Greeks taught us this many centuries ago, and fortunately, modern psychology has caught up with the past.
We can all agree now, I hope, that goodness leads to happier lives!
Another thing the ancient Greeks taught us is that when we normalize unsavory behavior in our children’s lives, such as letting them read the wrong kind of literature or watch the wrong kind of films, our children are more inclined to excuse it in themselves.
When choosing the families you decide to surround your family with while raising your children, choose families who share your values and beliefs, whatever they are. We influence one another just by being in each other's company, and our children are influenced too.
“I hold that a strongly marked personality can influence descendants for generations.”
If you have friends who have qualities that you admire, raise your children to be close to them. As adults, my children will visit my friends, even when I'm out of town! Of course, now they are "our" friends, but I love that my children have close relationships with so many good people.
Friends who have special talents, such as musicians, poets, and artists, or friends who are skilled professionals, such as lawyers, doctors, and writers, may not only influence your children, but they may inspire one of them to follow the same path.
Sometimes we overlook the little things, but it's those little things, such as what books we read to our children, what friends we keep, and what environments we create, that make the biggest differences for who our children grow up to become.
That's why often you'll see that parents who are intellectuals will raise children who are intellectuals, athletes will raise children who are athletes, and artists will raise children who are artists.
Environment matters more than we may realize. If our children are surrounded by books, they'll read; if they are surrounded by sports equipment, they'll play sports; if they are surrounded by live music in the home, they'll play an instrument.
I didn't understand these things when my children were young like I understand them now, but I was fortunate in that I come from a big family. My children grew up in the company of intellectuals, artists, musicians, writers, lawyers, entrepreneurs, teachers, gourmet cooks, and sportsmen of all kinds.
My children had a lot of great influences in their childhoods, and that's exactly what you want for your children. If you don't have the luxury of coming from a big family with a lot of varied interests and skills, then seek those people out and welcome them into your family’s life.
When I was homeschooling, I remember a neighbor complaining to me that I was raising my children in a bubble, and when my children grew up, they would not know how to function in the world.
“I am a thousand times better: I am an honest woman, and as such I will be treated.”
Well, they grew up and proved that person wrong. So will yours. Protect your children’s innocence for as long as you can, raise them on quality literature and surround them with excellent people.
Keep an engaging but pristine environment for them and then sit back and watch them blossom into grown people with whom you feel grateful to have in your life.
Don’t miss your free download, 6 Reasons Homeschooled Kids Have Better Social Skills.
Get a copy of Liz’s “could not live without” book, Education’s Not the Point: How Schools Fail to Train Children’s Minds and Nurture Their Characters with groundbreaking Essays on educating your kids by John Taylor Gatto, Dorothy Sayers, and Liz herself.
About Elizabeth Y. Hanson
Developing a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a “whole” child, based on tradition and modern research, Liz devotes her time to helping parents to get it right.
Liz is a homeschooling thought-leader, as well as the creator of two unique online courses, Raise Your Child Well: Preserving Your Child's Natural Genius by Laying a Solid Foundation During the First Seven Years and the Smart Homeschooler Academy: Homeschooling the "Whole" Child for a Well-Trained Mind and Character
As an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach, Liz has 23 years of experience raising children and working in education.
Liz is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.
"I know Elizabeth Y. Hanson as a remarkably intelligent, highly sensitive woman with a moral nature and deep insight into differences between schooling and education. Elizabeth's mastery of current educational difficulties is a testimony to her comprehensive understanding of the competing worlds of schooling and education. She has a good heart and a good head. What more can I say?”
—John Taylor Gatto Distinguished educator, public speaker, and best-selling author of Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling. For a copy of The Short Angry History of Compulsory Schooling, click here.
According to some theorists, it could be. As parents and homeschoolers, we need every ounce of energy we have, so squandering our energy on making trivial decisions is not something we willingly do. However, according to some theorists, we are doing just that, otherwise known as "decision fatigue."
Did you know that the average person makes 35,000 decisions in a single day? That sounds unbelievable, doesn't it? 35,000 decisions in one day! And I bet, as homeschoolers, we make even more.
After making so many decisions throughout our day, we begin to experience decision fatigue. When decision fatigue kicks in, the quality of our decisions starts to plummet. Whether we are making little or big decisions is irrelevant; what matters is that we are making decisions.
You probably know that Steve Jobs wore black T-shirts because he didn't want to waste his energy deciding what to wear each day.
He wanted to save his decision-making energy for the things that really mattered, such as should the Apple logo face up or down on the back of the computer, or should Apple come out with a new iPhone in one year or two years?
And Mark Zuckerberg wears grey T-shirts.
As women, I'm not sure if we can fathom wearing the same color shirt every day, but we can take stock of where our energy is going and preserve more of it for the important decisions we'll need to make.
Maybe you are considering whether or not to enroll your daughter in a swimming class during the family dinnertime, or whether or not your children should learn French or Spanish.
Hey, these are big decisions too, as we are making decisions that impact our children's intellects and characters, decisions that influence who they grow up to become in adulthood.
Quite frankly, our decisions are a heck of a lot more important than which way Apple faces its logo, wouldn't you agree?
Never underestimate the value of each decision you make for your children, because it's the little things that eventually become the big things; hence, the little things matter just as much, even though it may not appear to be that way.
That’s why, we want to do our best to make the right decisions. In making better decisions, we want to consider two things: making fewer trivial decisions and making better quality decisions.
To avoid trivial decision-making so that we can save our energy for the bigger decisions we'll need to make throughout the day, we can practice the simple habit of automating our tasks.
To begin the automation process, you want to pay attention to your morning and note the myriad of decisions you'll need to make, such as how to spend the wee part of your morning before your kids wake up, what time you want your children to wake up, who's going to wear what, what will be on the breakfast menu, and who will wash the breakfast dishes.
That's a very short list of the many decisions we make before the clock even strikes noon. Now that you have your list of decisions, you can then automate them by deciding one time how all these events will take place.
Create a morning plan, a meal plan, and a wardrobe plan, and you will have fewer decisions to make.
Before you go to sleep the night before, know what your morning plan is, know what your children's morning plan is, know what you will prepare for breakfast, and definitely know what you are going to wear the next day (hopefully not black or grey tees!).
Automate as much decision-making in the morning hours so your mind is freed up and you can conserve more energy for the rest of the decisions you will need to make that day.
Another factor to consider is the quality of your decisions. When we are tired, we are more likely to make poorer quality decisions because we have less self-control, so we may say yes to the ice cream man when he comes around the block or to the chocolate cake we swore to ourselves that we would not eat.
We may also struggle to make a decision, weighing two options back and forth and back and forth, only to later regret the choice we made.
We may even postpone making decisions altogether. The avoidance strategy will rob you of even more energy as you now have the decision taking up space in the back of your mind and tapping on your conscience every so often to remind you that there is still a decision to be made.
Ideally, if we can become aware of our energy levels in relation to the importance of a decision we have to make, rather than ignore the decision we have to make, we can learn to intentionally postpone the bigger decisions for the next day when we will hopefully be refreshed and able to think more clearly.
“In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing. The worst thing you can do is nothing.”
In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing. The worst thing you can do is nothing.” Theodore Roosevelt
We all know that moment when a friend asks us to do something, such as go out to dinner or meet for coffee, but we know we don't have time to accommodate her. However, we're tired when she asks us, and we say yes anyway, only to regret it later.
This one little tactic of postponing making decisions until you are refreshed will lead to better quality decisions and less regret in life.
Don’t miss your free download, 6 Reasons Homeschooled Kids Have Better Social Skills.
Get a copy of Liz’s “could not live without” book, Education’s Not the Point: How Schools Fail to Train Children’s Minds and Nurture Their Characters with groundbreaking Essays on educating your kids by John Taylor Gatto, Dorothy Sayers, and Liz herself.
About Elizabeth Y. Hanson
Developing a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a “whole” child, based on tradition and modern research, Liz devotes her time to helping parents to get it right.
Liz is a homeschooling thought-leader, as well as the creator of two unique online courses, Raise Your Child Well: Preserving Your Child's Natural Genius by Laying a Solid Foundation During the First Seven Years and the Smart Homeschooler Academy: Homeschooling the "Whole" Child for a Well-Trained Mind and Character
As an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach, Liz has 23 years of experience raising children and working in education.
Liz is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.
"I know Elizabeth Y. Hanson as a remarkably intelligent, highly sensitive woman with a moral nature and deep insight into differences between schooling and education. Elizabeth's mastery of current educational difficulties is a testimony to her comprehensive understanding of the competing worlds of schooling and education. She has a good heart and a good head. What more can I say?”
—John Taylor Gatto Distinguished educator, public speaker, and best-selling author of Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling. For a copy of The Short Angry History of Compulsory Schooling, click here.
You may be feeling pressured because you haven't taught your children some things you wanted them to know by now, and the end of the homeschool year is beginning to appear on the horizon.
Maybe they are a little behind according to your language arts schedule, or you haven't yet gotten to some math concepts. If this is you, then I understand. It happened to me, too.
One maxim I kept in mind while homeschooling is that knowledge is seemingly infinite, and no one person will ever be able to know everything under the sun.
Plus, as more and more decades and centuries pass, the more discoveries, innovations, and original contributions there are for the current occupants of planet earth to learn.
So where does this leave us as homeschoolers? Well, we can breathe a sigh of relief because as long as our children are learning at full capacity, i.e., we are doing our job as homeschoolers, then they should be developing the skills and knowledge they'll need to function well in life.
Which is why homeschooling your child is so amazing. When done right, we can help our children to reach their full potential physically, emotionally, neurologically, and intellectually.
“Do not train a child to learn by force or harshness, but direct them to it by what amuses their minds, so that you may be better able to discover with accuracy the peculiar bent of the genius of each.”
We can raise "whole" children instead of children being "educated" from the fragmented pedagogy of the public schools.
By "fragmented" I mean that the needs of the whole child are not taken into consideration, and most schooled children never come close to reaching their full potential and becoming their very best.
I know I didn't, which is why I felt so strongly about homeschooling my children and helping other parents to homeschool their children too. You may have similar feelings about your own educational experience.
For example, in terms of academic learning, proficiency rates in literacy alone for public school eighth graders are 30%, and for math they are 28%. How sad to send children away for 12 years to spend 8 hours a day, five days a week in a system designed to dumb them down when they could do and become so much more.
And let’s not forget the collective cost of creativity and innovation and the many things that will never come into existence because so many children never had a chance to fulfill their potentials in life.
“Whatever the cost of our libraries, the price is cheap compared to that of an ignorant nation.”
But let's not breathe too great a sigh of relief yet because surely any homeschooler can beat these statistics with a little effort. But if you are reading this, then, like me, you probably want much more for your children than just trying to match or improve a little upon what children are getting in the public schools.
We want to educate them to the best of their ability while preserving their uniqueness.
Maybe, like my daughter, one of your children will become fascinated with the relationships between the European monarchs prior to WW1 and take a deep dive into their lives. Or, like my son, you have a child who is taken by the nobility and courage of the Native American tribes and takes a deep dive into their stories.
Your children's education will be tailored to their interests, so the development of their minds is unique to that which inspires, motivates, and supports them in living more fulfilling lives because now they can live lives that are in alignment with who they are in their being.
Which follows that what they "know" or don't know then becomes particular to their individual interests, desires, and aptitudes.
While this is true, many homeschooling parents still fall into the trap of comparing their children to schooled children or even to other homeschooled children.
“I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.”
That's why, given the vast amount of knowledge that exists, it helps to remember that what children learn in school is to some degree arbitrary.
There are basic skills all schoolchildren are taught, such as reading, writing, and computing. But what episodes or figures in history a child studies, or what literature and art they are exposed to, or what concepts in science they learn is decided upon by the individual school boards.
As long as you have a solid plan for your children and you are staying on schedule, give or take a few revisions or bumps in the road, then it will only cause you unnecessary stress to worry about whether or not your children know the same things as their peers, either homeschooled or schooled.
Because your children's peers and schooled peers will never know the same things your children know either.
As my son said to me the other day, no two people ever read the exact same books, which means that we all have different libraries floating around inside of our heads that impact us, inspire us, and guide us on our journey through life.
The best stance you can take as the end of the year draws nearer is to remember that whatever your children know is what they know, and that's enough for now.
If you do feel a little more work is needed during the summer, then why not? There are no hard and fast rules with homeschooling other than to understand the educational journey we aspire towards and to become the best homeschooling parent you can be.
It's pretty simple when you think about it!
A funny memory of mine took place when my daughter's friend (of the same age) asked her what grade she would be in the following year. My daughter said that she would be in seventh grade.
But her friend, whose mother was an engineer and loved teaching math (I didn't love it!), knew that my daughter had not learned a certain concept in math, and so her friend stated that she didn't think my daughter was ready for the seventh grade.
My daughter, being highly offended, said to her friend very firmly, "I know what I know, and I'm going into the seventh grade!"
I'll leave you with that note, because this is exactly how homeschooled children think. You can even make it your end-of-the-year mantra: they know what they know!
It's a statement that holds true for each of us. We know what we know, and no two people will ever know exactly the same combination of things in life.
That's some of what makes us unique and what we get to celebrate in our children because we homeschool them.
Don’t miss your free download, 6 Reasons Homeschooled Kids Have Better Social Skills.
Get a copy of Liz’s “could not live without” book, Education’s Not the Point: How Schools Fail to Train Children’s Minds and Nurture Their Characters with groundbreaking Essays on educating your kids by John Taylor Gatto, Dorothy Sayers, and Liz herself.
About Elizabeth Y. Hanson
Developing a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a “whole” child, based on tradition and modern research, Liz devotes her time to helping parents to get it right.
Liz is a homeschooling thought-leader, as well as the creator of two unique online courses, Raise Your Child Well: Preserving Your Child's Natural Genius by Laying a Solid Foundation During the First Seven Years and the Smart Homeschooler Academy: Homeschooling the "Whole" Child for a Well-Trained Mind and Character
As an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach, Liz has 23 years of experience raising children and working in education.
Liz is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.
"I know Elizabeth Y. Hanson as a remarkably intelligent, highly sensitive woman with a moral nature and deep insight into differences between schooling and education. Elizabeth's mastery of current educational difficulties is a testimony to her comprehensive understanding of the competing worlds of schooling and education. She has a good heart and a good head. What more can I say?”
—John Taylor Gatto Distinguished educator, public speaker, and best-selling author of Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling. For a copy of The Short Angry History of Compulsory Schooling, click here.
Are you having a good time homeschooling your children? If not, you may be missing the main ingredient, which will make you a better teacher, your children will learn more, and everyone will have a lot more fun.
Learning with Your Children
The key to successful homeschooling is that we moms need to be learning too!
If you are under the impression that you can plop your children in front of a computer without creating an atmosphere that imbibes the joy of learning, then you've been terribly misled.
The greatest teachers love learning, and they impart this love to their students. From what I've seen over the years, the moms who enjoy homeschooling the most are learning alongside their children, and their children are curious and enjoy learning too.
Children who experience the joy of learning are going to learn more, and therefore, they'll become better educated.
With all due respect to the hard-working homeschooling moms, many moms are not giving their children the kind of education that nurtures the child's love of learning.
Some moms are doing public school at home or putting their kids into virtual schools using public school funding. These programs are substandard—as studies show— and lack the joy that comes from learning with quality books coupled with real-life experiences.
Nor do these methods leave much room for you to get into the exciting trenches of learning with your children.
Something to consider is why we would enroll our kids in a government-funded program when the government failed to give us an adequate education. That would be like hiring a person who's just filed for bankruptcy to give us financial advice.
“Although teachers to care and do work very, very hard, the institution is psychopathic — it has no conscience. It rings a bell and the young man in the middle of writing a poem must close his notebook and move to a different cell where he must memorize that humans and monkeys derive from a common ancestor.”
If our government failed us—gauging by our declining literacy rates—they'll fail our children too.
Rather than use government-funded "homeschooling" programs, you can homeschool independently and have great fun teaching your children from quality books, and you can learn beside them.
That's where one of the great perks of homeschooling lies; in giving ourselves the education our government failed to give us.
But just how easy is it to turn down the government funds you receive for enrolling your children into its programs? First, let me ask you this: If something were that good, would an organization have to pay people to take it?
Without getting into corporate politics, let's just say that whoever or whatever benefits from your children's enrollment knows that it is worth the cost of paying you to join these programs.
Because whatever they pay you, the "gainers" are scoring a lot more than what they give. As the saying goes, "Follow the money."
I knew someone with five children who received 10K per year to homeschool! Now that is difficult to turn down, but not when you understand the hidden costs.
Let's keep our vision in sight. I'm going to presume that at least one of your goals in homeschooling your children is to give them a better education.
Two very different methods of homeschooling, such as public school curriculum and virtual schools versus real-book learning with hands-on experiences, cannot produce the same results.
“Children learn what they live. Put kids in a class and they will live out their lives in an invisible cage, isolated from their chance at community; interrupt kids with bells and horns all the time and they will learn that nothing is important or worth finishing; ridicule them and they will retreat from human association; shame them and they will find a hundred ways to get even. The habits taught in large-scale organizations are deadly.”
One MUST be better than the other.
We know that the public schools are not producing graduates who can read, write, and compute well, and we know that schoolchildren are still behind in math and language arts after the online learning madness of Covid.
We know that there is enough research now to show just how ineffective online learning programs really are. Here's an excerpt from a study conducted about online learning during Covid, which is not unusual in its findings:
“Remote learning has also negatively affected children’s cognitive and academic performance throughout all age groups (Colvin et al., 2022). Standardized assessments during and after obligatory confinement have revealed students’ difficulties meeting grade expectations, particularly in schools with less in-person class time (Colvin et al., 2022).
Specific academic difficulties have been reported in mathematics, language, and reading skills. More than 1.5 million students from across the United States exhibited worse performance in mathematics and reading scores compared with the previous academic year (Colvin et al., 2022).”
You may believe that you need the government to monitor your homeschooling progress and therefore give you a sense of security; I would encourage you to reconsider this belief.
The homeschooling movement took root because parents were homeschooling independently of the government and doing a better job than the government schools were doing. There is no reason that you can't be one of these parents too.
The government standards for our children are so low that you couldn't possibly do a worse job unless you tried to. And homeschooling independently is less stressful than having a government employee check up on you once a month to "evaluate" your children's progress.
Children should not be subject to "evaluations." If you are teaching your children consistently using a sound curriculum, your children will learn the things they need to learn. You may have to adjust your curriculum a little so your children meet state or country requirements, but that's easy enough to do.
I would encourage you to muster up a little confidence to homeschool independently for the sake of your children. So many homeschoolers have come before you and homeschooled successfully without the government's intrusion into their family's life.
It was these pioneer families that set the educational standards for homeschoolers that we should work to uphold, not turn our backs on.
Excessive screen use, as is the case with virtual schools, is likely to do damage to your child's development, according to many studies. Damage may include a sedentary lifestyle, which results in health issues, such as obesity leading to early heart disease or myopia leading to early eye diseases.
It may also cause the inability to regulate the emotions leading to behavioral issues, or the inability to develop good social skills leading to relationship issues and difficulty making friends.
There are also the cognitive issues to consider, such as falling behind their peers and losing the love of learning and curiosity.
As time goes on, more and more studies will come out with the same disturbing results. It seems prudent of us to protect our children now rather than wait for the evidence to get so bad that it can no longer be ignored. Frankly, looking at the state of young adults today, we are there.
To quote a young person I spoke to recently:
“People my age live in a virtual world. They don’t listen to live music, watch plays, go to the opera, or read literature—they live in front of their screens.”
If you don't want your child to fit the above description, you have to be proactive and begin to do things differently—these are choices we make now that will have a lasting impact upon the quality of our children's lives.
While this next subject is not a hidden cost, it is worth discussing.
Many parents with whom I've spoken to over the years have told me that they joined the government programs to get the payout offered, and they use this money to purchase curricula and extracurricular activities for their children.
As far as curricula are concerned, homeschooling does not have to be expensive. All you have to do is buy one curriculum per year, and then you will pass the books on to your younger children. You may have to replace a few workbooks each year, but that's it.
If you are on a very tight budget, you can buy second-hand books too. There are plenty of resources for good curricula books if you conduct a search online, network with your local homeschooling group, or patronize used bookstores.
Regarding extra-curricular activities, your children don't need a lot of them. Children will benefit more from free time during their day than they will from attending several extra-curricular classes.
And you certainly don't need to be driving all over town playing chauffeur because it will take time and energy, and you will feel overwhelmed. Once overwhelm sets in, it's easy to experience homeschooling burnout, which will have a negative impact on you and your children.
While a class in the arts, sports, or a foreign language is encouraged, if money is an issue, then bartering with other homeschooling parents is a way you can avoid paying course fees.
Another way is to teach a group of children something you are good at and to get paid for it. With the money you earn, you can afford to enroll your children in additional classes.
In my 24 years of experience, homeschooling with real books and keeping yourself independent from any government programs is less stressful, more rewarding, and a lot more fun for you and your children.
Real-life skills and books aplenty! 🎈
Don’t miss your free download, 6 Reasons Homeschooled Kids Have Better Social Skills.
Get a copy of Liz’s “could not live without” book, Education’s Not the Point: How Schools Fail to Train Children’s Minds and Nurture Their Characters with groundbreaking Essays on educating your children by John Taylor Gatto, Dorothy Sayers, and Liz herself.
About Elizabeth Y. Hanson
Developing a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a “whole” child, based on tradition and modern research, Liz devotes her time to helping parents to get it right.
Liz is a homeschooling thought-leader, as well as the creator of two unique online courses, Raise Your Child Well: Preserving Your Child's Natural Genius by Laying a Solid Foundation During the First Seven Years and the Smart Homeschooler Academy: Homeschooling the "Whole" Child for a Well-Trained Mind and Character
As an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach, Liz has 23 years of experience raising children and working in education.
Liz is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.
"I know Elizabeth Y. Hanson as a remarkably intelligent, highly sensitive woman with a moral nature and deep insight into differences between schooling and education. Elizabeth's mastery of current educational difficulties is a testimony to her comprehensive understanding of the competing worlds of schooling and education. She has a good heart and a good head. What more can I say?”
—John Taylor Gatto Distinguished educator, public speaker, and best-selling author of Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling. For a copy of The Short Angry History of Compulsory Schooling, click here.
Did you know that 98% of children have imaginations in the realm of genius? By the time they reach adulthood, however, that number drops to 2%—why?
At the risk of sounding redundant, school is the culprit.
NASA funded a study to discover the most creative people in their organization so they could give them the biggest problems to solve. The researchers themselves got interested in the idea of creativity, and they wondered where it came from.
These researchers had the brilliant idea to give the adult creativity test they had devised for the NASA employees to young children, and the above numbers are what they discovered.
School knocks the creativity right out of our children—their innate genius, usually gone forever.
The late Sir Ken Robinson built a career on the subject of creativity and how we could foster it, not only in schools but also in the workplace. He said, “Sometimes getting away from school is the best thing that can happen to a great mind.”
Leonardo da Vinci had a great mind. He has been known mostly for his artwork, but he also dreamed up many inventions; such as the flying machine, weapons of war, work tools, and water systems. Clearly, da Vinci was a man with an unusually creative mind, a genius.
In 2024, 70% of employers said that creativity is the most in-demand skill. We have a dearth of creativity in our adult population because most children no longer experience wholesome childhoods, and then—to add insult to injury—we enroll them in preschools and schools at too early of an age.
Rather than nurture our children's creativity, we are being advised to put them into environments that inadvertently squash it.
“In some urban centers, the competition is so intense for places in the “right” kindergartens that children are being interviewed—for kindergarten. What are the interviewers looking for, evidence of infancy?”
Is anyone to blame for this apparent lunacy? Who knows, nor does it matter. What does matter is that we understand what is happening to our children so that we can raise them to embrace their creativity and thrive because of it.
Most parents are concerned about raising their children to get into good colleges and become successful in their careers. What we fail to understand is that creativity is a key factor, not only in their career success but also in the quality of the lives they will lead.
The irony is that when we focus on raising and educating our children well rather than preparing them for acceptance into a good college, getting into a good college will naturally follow.
“We have to go from what is essentially an industrial model of education, a manufacturing model, which is based on linearity and conformity and batching people. We have to move to a model that is based more on principles of agriculture. We have to recognize that human flourishing is not a mechanical process; it’s an organic process. And you cannot predict the outcome of human development. All you can do, like a farmer, is create the conditions under which they will begin to flourish.”
If you want to raise your children to get ahead, creativity is where you want to put your focus. Any obstacle, struggle, or challenge in life requires creative thinking.
People who rise to the top are creative people. They are the visionaries, the thinkers, the leaders. They are not the people who need to be told what to do because they lack ideas, the sheep, so to speak.
The first seven years of a child's life are critical years of development, years where—in the right sort of environment—a child's imagination will bloom.
Preschools and kindergarten programs, even first grade, will most likely interrupt this process, which is why you may want to consider keeping your children out of schools and early education programs. You may want to keep them out of school altogether, if possible.
If you are homeschooling your children, you have the advantage, as your children will have more free time to pursue the wandering of their minds—that is, if you are homeschooling them according to the sound principles of education.
Warning: Virtual schools are not an educational option that's conducive towards nurturing a child's creativity.
If you can protect your child's natural genius—the genius that he was born with—he'll be way ahead of the curve where creativity and innovation are concerned and of more value to himself, his family, his friends, and his employers.
He may even become his own boss someday.
Teach your children a lot of general knowledge (during the educative years)
Give them plenty of free time to let their mind roam
Ask your children open-ended questions
Encourage them to be in the habit of exploring different possibilities
Support them in seeing themselves as creative people
Help them make connections between different ways of seeing things
Encourage them to explore their ideas so they develop confidence in their ideas
Help them to learn resilience around ideas that don't go as hoped or planned
Guide them towards their creative abilities, whether it be in music, math, drawing, etc.
Always express respect and interest when your children share an idea with you
Let your children take risks (within reason!)
Encourage them to trust their own judgment
Keep your children off of devices!
Teach your children the skill of listening; they'll learn a lot more
These are just a few ideas to get the creative juices flowing so that your children can excel in the ways which will make their lives fuller, richer, and more meaningful.
Don’t miss your free download, 6 Reasons Homeschooled Kids Have Better Social Skills.
Get a copy of Liz’s “could not live without” book, Education’s Not the Point: How Schools Fail to Train Children’s Minds and Nurture Their Characters with groundbreaking Essays on educating your kids by John Taylor Gatto, Dorothy Sayers, and Liz herself.
About Elizabeth Y. Hanson
Developing a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a “whole” child, based on tradition and modern research, Liz devotes her time to helping parents to get it right.
Liz is a homeschooling thought-leader, as well as the creator of two unique online courses, Raise Your Child Well: Preserving Your Child's Natural Genius by Laying a Solid Foundation During the First Seven Years and the Smart Homeschooler Academy: Homeschooling the "Whole" Child for a Well-Trained Mind and Character
As an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach, Liz has 23 years of experience raising children and working in education.
Liz is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.
"I know Elizabeth Y. Hanson as a remarkably intelligent, highly sensitive woman with a moral nature and deep insight into differences between schooling and education. Elizabeth's mastery of current educational difficulties is a testimony to her comprehensive understanding of the competing worlds of schooling and education. She has a good heart and a good head. What more can I say?”
—John Taylor Gatto Distinguished educator, public speaker, and best-selling author of Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling. For a copy of The Short Angry History of Compulsory Schooling, click here.
“What do you do for a living?” Sir Ken Robinson asked a man who attended his event.
"I'm a fireman," the man said.
Sir Ken then asked the man when he decided to become a fireman. The man shared that as a child he had always wanted to be a fireman, and that desire had never left him.
When he was a senior in high school, his teacher asked the class what their plans were for after they graduated. Everyone was going to college except for our fireman.
“I am going to join the fire service,” he said.
His teacher tried to persuade him that it would be a mistake because he was a good student, and he would be wasting his bright future in the fire service, but the young man went on to join the fire service anyway.
And six months before speaking with Sir Ken, our fireman had saved that same teacher's life!
His teacher and his wife had been in a serious car accident, and our fireman pulled them both out of the car, administering CPR to his teacher.
If the fireman’s teacher had known that his student would one day save his life, would he have advised him to go to college instead of joining the fire service?
Probably not, but in this story lies the key to the kind of direction we want to give our children, so that they can find their true calling.
“The meaning in life is to find your gift. The purpose of life is to give it away.”
What the teacher failed to recognize, and what the late Sir Ken imparted over the course of his profession, is that we all have a grand purpose in life.
As Rumi, the sage and poet, said, "Everyone has been made for some particular work, and the desire for that work has been put in every heart.”
Our fireman's grand purpose was to become a fireman, which would eventually include saving his teacher's life; the desire for that work had been put in his heart.
Most of us don't know what desire was put into our hearts because we were divorced from our natural inclinations in the school system, never having had the time or direction to follow our interests and see where they led us.
Consequently, most of us are not living our best lives, lives that are in alignment with our hearts' desire.
As stay-at-home moms and as homeschoolers, we can offer our children a different experience. We can introduce our children to a myriad of activities and new skills as they are growing up, and we will notice what it is that they are inclined towards and what it is that lights them up.
As they get older, we can steer them in those directions until eventually one of their interests will stand out above the others.
We want to allow for the interests of our children to emerge without imposing our own desires onto them. In other words, if we expect our child to grow up and become a doctor, an engineer, or a lawyer, then we've missed the point.
For our children to live meaningful lives and to reach their potential, they need the freedom and opportunity to discover what it is that they were born to do.
It doesn't have to be one thing that they do throughout their entire lives, but they need to be able to choose what they do, even if it sounds crazy to us.
Because only they are intimately in touch with the unfolding of their lives, and we have to trust that whatever they choose to do in the present is leading them towards the fulfillment of their purpose.
“The mystery of human existence lies not in just staying alive, but in finding something to live for. ”
Sometimes after one career, a person has developed a combination of skills that allow them to become excellent at a new profession, such as lawyers who become great writers or athletes who become brilliant physical therapists or gardeners who become superb chefs.
As a parent, it behooves us to remind ourselves that we do not know what our child's journey will include, and it isn't our job to decide this for our child.
Our greatest role as a parent will always be that of a guide. We want to guide our children into adulthood in ways that are in alignment with their uniqueness so that they can become their very best at whatever they choose to do.
Don’t miss your free download, 6 Reasons Homeschooled Kids Have Better Social Skills.
Get a copy of Liz’s “could not live without” book, Education’s Not the Point: How Schools Fail to Train Children’s Minds and Nurture Their Characters with groundbreaking Essays on educating your kids by John Taylor Gatto, Dorothy Sayers, and Liz herself.
About Elizabeth Y. Hanson
Developing a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a “whole” child, based on tradition and modern research, Liz devotes her time to helping parents to get it right.
Liz is a homeschooling thought-leader, as well as the creator of two unique online courses, Raise Your Child Well: Preserving Your Child's Natural Genius by Laying a Solid Foundation During the First Seven Years and the Smart Homeschooler Academy: Homeschooling the "Whole" Child for a Well-Trained Mind and Character
As an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach, Liz has 23 years of experience raising children and working in education.
Liz is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.
"I know Elizabeth Y. Hanson as a remarkably intelligent, highly sensitive woman with a moral nature and deep insight into differences between schooling and education. Elizabeth's mastery of current educational difficulties is a testimony to her comprehensive understanding of the competing worlds of schooling and education. She has a good heart and a good head. What more can I say?”
—John Taylor Gatto Distinguished educator, public speaker, and best-selling author of Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling. For a copy of The Short Angry History of Compulsory Schooling, click here.
In lieu of writing something myself, I’m posting this link to a 19 minute and 40 second video that you will not want to miss.
What Are We Doing to Our Children, by Sophie Winkleman.
Maybe, like me, you’ll also be surprised to learn that "Why homeschooling is a bad idea" is a commonly searched question on the internet.
Which got me thinking about the reasons for why some people believe this and when homeschooling might truly be a bad idea for some families.
As it may be of interest to you, I've put together 8 reasons for why homeschooling might be considered a bad idea.
With 23 years of experience behind me, I'll share with you what I've seen work and not work when it comes to homeschooling, and I'll share some common misunderstandings that mislead parents about homeschooling.
Our job as parents is to raise our children to be civilized, independent, and the best of who they can be. To do this, children need to be with people who model civlized behavior, they need the freedom to decide how to use their own time, and they need to develop well physically, emotionally, and neurologically.
Once the children have a solid foundation in place, with the proper guidance, they will be able to grow into civilized, independent adults who operate from a place of integrity. However, when we put children into school too early, we interrupt this process.
“Childish people, for all the noise they make, are nearly helpless. They always fall back into line because they have no other choice, they lack the inner resources to be self-sustaining. ”
Contrary to tons of research, many parents still believe that putting their children into early education programs is what's best for their children, and, by default, homeschooling becomes a bad idea.
Few of us stop to consider what a quality education should look like, and how providing one for our kids will have a positive effect on their entire lives.
If parents have been deceived into misunderstanding what their children are capable of, and they don't know how far below their children's capability levels the public schools hover, then they won't see the point of homeschooling their kids, and again, homeschooling becomes a bad idea. After all, why would you bother?
Children need people in their lives to model good social skills for them. This is one of the ways they learn social skills. What they don't need is school. No child is going to learn good social skills from other children, and especially not from a school system where their teachers are not allowed to discipline and correct their behavior.
“Being considerate of others will take your children further in life than any college degree.”
Social skills amongst homeschooled children have been studied, and the homeschooled come out ahead for obvious reasons. There's no rocket science here. So, even for improving one’s social skills, homeschooling is not a bad idea.
This last one is a growing problem because the kids these parents know aren't really being homeschooled; they're in virtual schools. If all a parent knows are kids who are being "educated" through virtual schools, then they don't know anything about homeschooled kids.
These virtual schoolers sit in front of computers for too many hours a day; they don't socialize, and they don't learn much. They are even registered through the state as a public school student.
Since Covid there has been a mass movement towards online education, and the most recent national study shows that schoolkids are still way behind academically.
Go figure.
We need to keep our kids out of these fraudulent, dumbed-down programs! Our children are smart, and they deserve an education.
All relatively sane parents want what is best for their children. Yet, when it comes to education, some parents believe that what is best is public school, and some parents believe that what is best is homeschooling.
When two parents disagree on which kind of education is best for their children, homeschooling may not be the best option, however, it depends upon the level of respect between the parents.
What I have seen over the years is that the parent against homeschooling, which is usually the father, may agree to the children being homeschooled for a year, but it is on a "trial" basis.
If the father is respectful and truly supportive of his wife's efforts, and if the wife knows what she's doing, then homeschooling will usually prove itself, and he then becomes convinced that homeschooling trumps school.
But if the father is disrespectful towards the mother, especially in front of the children, and he undermines her efforts to give her children a better education, then the children tend to eventually side with the father, and the mother will have little choice but to give up her dreams of homeschooling her precious ones.
“A father’s contribution to his children is primarily a measure of how much he adores their mother.”
Sometimes you see the situation reversed, but it is less common because the mother typically does the teaching. If she doesn't want to homeschool, she is not going to "try it out."
Overall, homeschooling is the better option if you want to raise children to be brighter, happier, and better socialized. How we raise and educate our children will largely determine the quality of the life they live.
It's a few years of work for us but a lifetime for them.
Register for Liz’s FREE masterlclass, Homeschooling for Success: 3 Critical Questions Each New Homeschooler Must Ask.
Don’t miss your free download, 6 Reasons Homeschooled Kids Have Better Social Skills.
Get a copy of Liz’s “could not live without” book, Education’s Not the Point: How Schools Fail to Train Children’s Minds and Nurture Their Characters with groundbreaking Essays on educating your kids by John Taylor Gatto, Dorothy Sayers, and Liz herself.
Elizabeth Y. Hanson is a homeschooling thought-leader and the founder of Smart Homeschooler.
As an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach, she has 23 years of experience working in education.
Developing a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child, based on tradition and modern research, Liz devotes her time to helping parents to get it right.
Liz is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.
"I know Elizabeth Y. Hanson as a remarkably intelligent, highly sensitive woman with a moral nature and deep insight into differences between schooling and education. Elizabeth's mastery of current educational difficulties is a testimony to her comprehensive understanding of the competing worlds of schooling and education. She has a good heart and a good head. What more can I say?”
—John Taylor Gatto Distinguished educator, public speaker, and best-selling author of Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling. For a copy of The Short Angry History of Compulsory Schooling, click here.
Children are losing the ability to focus because we are not raising them in environments that demand they focus, and then when they get easily distracted, we are too quick to cry "ADHD!"
When you observe infants, you will note how extremely focused they become when something catches their interest. If you've given your children a wholesome childhood, they too should be able to focus well, and they certainly should from ADHD.
Prior to the 1970s, only 1-3% of children were diagnosed with any problems of this sort. If only 1 - 3% of children had any learning or behavioral problems, should we ask what’s going on?
What's going on is that the way children are experiencing their childhood today is very different from how they experienced it 50 years ago, and with the "different" came a whole host of problems.
One of which is a country of overmedicated children. Regardless of whether nor not your child has received an ADHD label, there are many things you can do to help your child learn how to focus better.
The ability to focus equates to more efficient studying and quicker comprehension, which means that your children will learn more, and, therefore, do better academically over the course of their educative years.
Help your child develop the extremely important skill of listening. We overlook this skill today, but it is a skill that's vital to communication, comprehension, courtesy, and intelligence.
“Being relevant simply consists in paying close attention to the point that is being talked about and saying nothing that is not significantly related to it.”
There are 3 things you start doing today, that will help your child tremendously:
1. Teach him not to interrupt you or anyone else when he is being spoken to
2. Take him into nature and let him sit quietly while paying attention to every single sound he can hear. Ask him to write down the sounds or, if he is too young to write, you can write them for him. If you have multiple children, you can let them play a game of who can hear the most sounds.
We are losing the ability to hear more subtle sounds because of all the noise pollution, so taking your children into nature and helping them to develop more acute hearing will serve them well.
3. Read outloud to your children every day. If you can read to them in the afternoon and before bed, that would be ideal.
Mortimer Adler said that the ability to listen is not a natural gift, but it's a skill that we must work to acquire. He also pointed out that nobody teaches it, though it should be taught.
Encourage your children to engage in activities that help develop their focus muscle.
1. Provide your children with puzzles from an early age. As they get older, get them more difficult puzzles. Puzzles requires children to focus acutely as they think about where each piece goes.
2. Give your young children colored pencils and blank paper and let them draw for as long as they like. For older children, teach them the rudiments of drawing because it not only develops the skill of observation (critical to reading people), but it also requires that they focus intently on their subject.
3. Raise your children to play sports that require intense focus; such as ice skating, handball, or ping pong.
Choose entertainment for your children wisely.
1. Raise your kids to love reading quality books. A good story will keep their focus for a long time.
2. Have your children study a musical instrument and take them to classical music concerts.
3. Well, the last one you know. Keep your kids away from screens. This is a no-brainer as any screen use will interfere with their brain development, their social skills, and their engagement in activities that will help them develop the ability to focus well.
And, while we're helping our kids improve their focus, we can strengthen our own focus muscles too. We live in a highly distractable time, and everyone I know seems to complain about the need to improve their focus.
For that, it's a simple formula: a little less Netflix, a little less internet scrolling, and a little more meditation every day will work wonders.
Register for Liz’s FREE masterlclass, Top 3 Secrets to Homeschooling for success!
Don’t miss your free download, 31 Screen-Free Activities to Support Your Child's Developing brain.
Get a copy of Liz’s “could not live without” book, Education’s Not the Point: How Schools Fail to Train Children’s Minds and Nurture Their Characters with Essays by John Taylor Gatto and Dorothy Sayers.
Elizabeth Y. Hanson is a homeschooling thought-leader and the founder of Smart Homeschooler.
As an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach, she has 23 years of experience working in education.
Developing a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child, based on tradition and modern research, Liz devotes her time to helping parents to get it right.
Liz is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.
"I know Elizabeth Y. Hanson as a remarkably intelligent, highly sensitive woman with a moral nature and deep insight into differences between schooling and education. Elizabeth's mastery of current educational difficulties is a testimony to her comprehensive understanding of the competing worlds of schooling and education. She has a good heart and a good head. What more can I say?”
—John Taylor Gatto Distinguished educator, public speaker, and best-selling author of Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling. For a copy of The Short Angry History of Compulsory Schooling, click here.
My son and I were on a train through the south of Germany when I looked to my left and saw a child reading. And then I saw another child reading. And then another child.
I said to my son, "Look, there's actually children reading on this train; how exciting!"
"What a sorry day it is when you get excited about a child reading," he replied.
"I know, tell me about it."
But non-reading kids are the reality today. Kids are staring at screens instead of absorbing what's going on around them, learning from great books, engaging in life, or socializing with real people.
No, they are living “virtual lives,” as my son put it.
My eyes kept glancing over at these children, and then I noticed their parents were speaking English. At some point, I couldn't hold back any longer, so I went up to the parents and told them it was a joy to see that they were raising kids who actually liked to read.
And they pointed down the train to another family of kids who were reading. I can't tell you what a delight it was to see kids with books in their hands and no screens.
We talked about the loss of reading in our culture, and they expressed their contentment in having kids who enjoyed a good book. I could see they were really pleased with their success in raising kids who read.
The youngest child, a boy, was playing hangman with his dad. His father said to me, "He is supposed to be reading too!"
Okay, the "supposed to" jarred me a tad. I didn't say anything, but hangman over a screen is still a huge success in today's climate of raising kids. And a 7-year-old boy can't be forced to read, only encouraged from an environment of readers, in his case, his older sisters and parents.
These kids were all screen-free. No whining. No complaining. The children were happily occupied on a long train ride through Germany with their noses in books (minus one).
Took me back to my own kids and how they used to do the same. Or they’d gaze out the window and take in the sights or we’d chat about something they found interesting—as I’m sure the children on the train did too.
Amongst many other non-tech activities, screen-free kids will read books, and that's why "reading" kids are so uncommon now. Because kids have their noses stuck in screens, kids everywhere are staring at screens, kids are living in a virtual world.
They are growing up in an alternative reality.
However, luckily for us, it's not difficult to raise children who prefer a book to a screen, either. You just have to do two things.
Keep screens out of sight, and chances are that your kids will never ask for one.
Keep an endless supply of good books in your home.
In my experience, it's much easier to raise kids without screens than with "one hour after dinner" or "two hours on the weekend."
When you raise kids without screens, they learn how to occupy themselves, otherwise known as being resourceful. They won't whine and complain that they are bored, and they won't argue with you over screen time.
Honestly, keeping your kids screen-free will alleviate a lot of the tension in the home too.
And, if you have books in the house, they'll grow up reading too. My son told me, while on this train through southern Germany, that he read so much as a child because books were all there were in the house.
Exactly. He still reads.
What triggers me a bit is this movement to end the use of smartphones in schools. Don't get me wrong; it's a long overdue movement, and I'm truly grateful it's begun, thanks to Jonathon Haidt and his new book, The Anxious Generation, which I recommend you read.
But why do so many parents wait until they are given permission to do what they know is best for their kids?
When it comes to our kids, we can't give up our mama bear roles; we have to defend our kids from the harmful elements of society, and smartphones are a very toxic and damaging element.
We have countless studies to prove it. We also have our common sense.
“In almost every house we’ve been,
We’ve watched them gaping at the screen.
They sit and stare and stare and sit...
Until they’re hpynotized by it,
But did you ever stop to think,
(What) This does to your beloved tot?
IT ROTS THE SENSES IN THE HEAD!
IT KILLS IMAGINATION DEAD!
...
IT MAKES A CHILD SO DULL AND BLIND
HE CANNOT THINK HE ONLY SEES!”
Today we have a generation of children who grew up with technology, and who are active in this movement to remove smartphones from schools.
They know the harm it causes their generation, and they want it to stop. We are hearing this from the children!
They want it to stop.
One parent told me that her older kids told her not to let the younger children near technology. They recognized the damage it had done in their lives, and they wanted their mother to understand this and to protect their younger siblings.
There is one caveat with the "no screen" policy, and that is that when you are raising children, you need to find like-minded families to raise your kids with. Your kids can't be the only "screen-free" kids if you are raising them amongst technophiles.
It becomes the "forbidden apple" syndrome. They'll want what their friends have but they can't have. Eventually, they'll grow up and head straight for the technology.
In this case, two hours on the weekend is a good compromise. But if you have like-minded friends who keep their kids off of tech, that's ideal.
The general rule of thumb is that if your kids want a phone, wait until they are at least 16 and let them get a job to pay for it. Also, no smartphones. Flip phones only for as long as they live with you. I got this bit of advice from my mentor and parenting guru John Rosemond, and it is sound advice.
Read a book about the dangers of technology on a child's developing brain, socio-emotional skills, and physical health. For this, I would recommend Glow Kids by Dr. Nicholas Kardaras.
Invite some friends to read the book with you and discuss ways you can agree to keep your kids away from screen use.
Become a support group for one another in raising tech-free children.
Given the studies about the harm technology causes to a child's grown brain, it seems a no-brainer that kids growing up without technology would be more intelligent, more socially adept, more emotionally balanced, and have better physical health.
Say no to your kids now, and later they will be grateful to you for protecting them against the ills of screen use in childhood. As more and more studies come out, more and more people are becoming aware of how utterly damaging screen use is to children.
By the time your kids are grown, even more research will have been published. If you let them use screens now, they may grow up to ask you, "Why?"
Many children are asking this question today. Don't let yours be the next.
Register for Liz’s FREE masterlclass, Top 3 Secrets to Homeschooling for success!
Don’t miss your free download, 31 Screen-Free Activities to Support Your Child's Developing brain.
Get a copy of Liz’s “could not live without” book, Education’s Not the Point: How Schools Fail to Train Children’s Minds and Nurture Their Characters with Essays by John Taylor Gatto and Dorothy Sayers.
Elizabeth Y. Hanson is a homeschooling thought-leader and the founder of Smart Homeschooler.
As an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach, she has 23 years of experience working in education.
Developing a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child, based on tradition and modern research, Liz devotes her time to helping parents to get it right.
Liz is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.
"I know Elizabeth Y. Hanson as a remarkably intelligent, highly sensitive woman with a moral nature and deep insight into differences between schooling and education. Elizabeth's mastery of current educational difficulties is a testimony to her comprehensive understanding of the competing worlds of schooling and education. She has a good heart and a good head. What more can I say?”
—John Taylor Gatto Distinguished educator, public speaker, and best-selling author of Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling. For a copy of The Short Angry History of Compulsory Schooling, click here.
Around the world, when the New Year chimes in, there is hope. Hope for a year of prosperity, abundance, and goodwill.
It's universal.
There’s one tradition that I love, and I wanted to share it with you because your children can join in too.
In many parts of the world, there is a New Year's tradition of reflecting on the things that didn't go well during the past year and making the intention to leave them behind.
The tradition some people practice is to write down all of the things they want to leave behind on pieces of paper and before the clock strikes midnight, they throw the paper into the fire.
Now they are ready to move into the New Year without taking the unwanted baggage with them. What's appealing about this tradition is that it's not only based on hope, but there is a clear intention behind it.
It's a reminder that we have the power to make significant changes to our lives, whether it’s to work out regularly, eat better, or spend more time with loved ones; we have the possibility for improving ourselves.
We make the intention, create the space for it, and get to work.
Easier said than done, I know.
However, it's never too early to teach our children the importance of clear intentions and the power of vision and change.
If your children are old enough to write, they can join you by writing down anything they want to leave behind, and they can make the intention to do something differently for the New Year.
If they are too young to write, then you may have to do the writing for them. It would be fun to keep copies of what they want to leave behind to look back on years later.
Another thing that’s valuable about traditions, is that the tradition you can bring into your children's lives, the more things they have to look forward to during the year.
Traditions around holidays are landmarks that define certain times of the year. They are also times for shared memories and building family bonds.
On a larger scale, traditions are the means by which we pass on our culture and customs to the next generation.
“Tradition: how the vitality of the past enriches the life of the present. ”
My grandfather was from a family of Greek immigrants, so we grew up with a very big Greek family. For the New Year's, there was a special cake that we baked with a 25-cent piece hidden somewhere inside the cake.
As children, there was always a lot of suspense to see who would get the quarter, because whoever got it was guaranteed good luck for the next year.
And my grandmother was from Georgia. The southern tradition is to bake black-eyed peas for dinner as good luck. Eating black-eyed peas on New Year’s Day is considered good luck because after the Civil War, that's all there was to eat.
It was actually the food for horses that kept the Southerners alive after the war. Growing up, we celebrated this tradition, too, with the typical southern accompaniments of collard greens, cornbread, and honey butter.
Honestly, the more traditions you have, the merrier.
Happy New Year!
May it be a good year full of hope, prosperity, and abundance.
Register for Liz’s FREE masterlclass, Top 3 Secrets to Homeschooling for success!
Don’t miss our free download, Ten Books Every Well-Educated Child Should Read.
Get a copy of Liz’s homeschooling Bible, Education’s Not the Point: How Schools Fair to Train Children’s Minds and Nurture Their Characters with Essays by John Taylor Gatto and Dorothy Sayers.
Elizabeth Y. Hanson is a homeschooling thought-leader and the founder of Smart Homeschooler.
As an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach, she has 23 years of experience working in education.
Developing a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child, based on tradition and modern research, Liz devotes her time to helping parents to get it right.
Liz is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.
"I know Elizabeth Y. Hanson as a remarkably intelligent, highly sensitive woman with a moral nature and deep insight into differences between schooling and education. Elizabeth's mastery of current educational difficulties is a testimony to her comprehensive understanding of the competing worlds of schooling and education. She has a good heart and a good head. What more can I say?”
—John Taylor Gatto Distinguished educator, public speaker, and best-selling author of Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling. For a copy of The Short Angry History of Compulsory Schooling, click here.
When we buy a gift for our child, we want it to light up his face.
At the same time, we don't want to overindulge our children with toys that clutter up their rooms and spoil their characters.
To find a happy medium, I’ve created a list of ten gifts that will make your child happy and benefit his brain.
Most young children enjoy receiving a book as a gift. You can buy a beautiful edition of a particular book with leather binding or a fancy edition of the book that includes a slipcase.
If your child is younger, choose a cleverly illustrated book like Mother Goose by Silvia Long or Aesop’s Fables by Chronicle Books. For a gift, I would stick to the classics.
Classics have stood the test of time, and your children will cherish them for many years to come, even unto adulthood.
No child ever tires of putting together a puzzle, and how wonderful it is for the budding brain cells. Your child will develop his reasoning and problem-solving skills, he exercises his hand-eye coordination, he builds his sensory/motor skills (lots of pinching, picking, and putting tasks involved), and he feels happy when he accomplishes his mammoth feat.
The latter also helps to build his confidence. Who would have thought your child could gain so much from a puzzle!
The wooden puzzle sets by Melissa and Doug are all-time favorites for younger children.
For older children, you can try something like a colorful map of Europe.
Rainy days and long summer nights are perfect times for playing board games. Depending upon your child's age, you can buy him games that he'll enjoy playing with friends and family.
Think of games such as Chutes and Ladders, Checkers, and even chess. Board games are perfect for building social skills, especially the art of losing well.
Children love playing cards. If you'd like to contribute to your child's education, buying a card game that teaches the countries of the world or the fifty states and capitals is perfect.
Sadly, most children don't learn much geography anymore. But with a good game of cards, your child won’t be one of them.
A “make-your-own-jewelry” set is better suited for girls because girls love their jewelry! Making jewelry is a lot of fun, it's creative, and the jewelry can be given away as gifts. Children, therefore, will also learn the much-appreciated virtue of generosity. This kit is complete, and the price is reasonable too.
And boys love rockets! Actually, all the children will have fun making this rocket from a soda bottle and baking soda. The kit comes with instructions, all the supplies you need, and it's easy to do.
The Water Bottle Model Rocket is suitable for children six through the early teens. The water rocket is another activity that is fun to do with other children and encourages cooperation.
Children love brain games. Rubric cubes are a lot of fun, but the wooden brain puzzles are even better. Your child will spend hours trying to figure out the problem, and a child who stays at it long enough is bound to eventually figure it out.
Patience is the name of the game with this kind of puzzle, and patience is a virtue. A brain puzzle is a perfect way to learn a little patience.
Warning: only buy one puzzle. The kits with multiple puzzles will dilute your child’s attention, and he’ll be less likely to solve the mystery.
A stencil kit is probably not the first gift that pops into your mind when thinking of a gift for your child, but the truth is that children love to stencil. It's another activity that your child can do with friends, alone, or even while traveling; and it'll keep him occupied for hours.
Children will naturally compliment each other’s work, too, which is another opportunity to learn generosity and kindness towards others.
Many children miss the story of Peter and the Wolf, composed by Sergie Prokofiev. Peter and the Wolf is a classical composition that introduces the musical instruments of a symphony through a story about Peter and the Wolf.
Children love to listen to this piece, and they may even show an interest in a particular instrument, which is a great way to get them into the world of classical music.
Musical training will teach your child many virtues, including discipline and perseverance. It also gives him an interest that will elevate his character rather than then let society drag it down.
Peter and the Wolf is the perfect place to start and the ideal gift for your child.
When all else fails, there's always the 20 dollar bill. Children love to receive money, so don't feel bad if for some reason you can’t buy something. The 20 dollar bill could turn out to be his favorite gift!
It's also an excellent way to introduce your child to the value of a dollar and how to spend it wisely on something worth buying.
The best way to deliver this gift is to buy a money card from your local gift shop and then get a crisp twenty-dollar bill from the bank.
If you are buying a gift for someone else’s child, you want to be sure to follow these guidelines:
Do not buy any toys that make noise (the parents will never forgive you).
Do not buy anything electronic (parents are struggling enough with their children and technology).
Do not buy candy (many parents do not appreciate this).
That said, if you follow the suggestions above, you will not only make yours or someone else’s child very happy, but you’ll help them become better people too.
Join the FREE Masterclass: Top 3 Secrets to Homeschooling for Success (Your kids will thank you when they’re grown!) by Liz Hanson
Don’t miss your free download, 31 Screen-Free Activities to Support Your Child's Developing brain.
Get a copy of Liz’s homeschooling Bible, Education’s Not the Point: How Schools Fair to Train Children’s Minds and Nurture Their Characters with Essays by John Taylor Gatto and Dorothy Sayers.
Elizabeth Y. Hanson is a homeschooling thought-leader and the founder of Smart Homeschooler.
As an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach, she has 23 years of experience working in education.
Developing a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child, based on tradition and modern research, Liz devotes her time to helping parents to get it right.
Liz is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.
"I know Elizabeth Y. Hanson as a remarkably intelligent, highly sensitive woman with a moral nature and deep insight into differences between schooling and education. Elizabeth's mastery of current educational difficulties is a testimony to her comprehensive understanding of the competing worlds of schooling and education. She has a good heart and a good head. What more can I say?”
—John Taylor Gatto Distinguished educator, public speaker, and best-selling author of Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling. For a copy of The Short Angry History of Compulsory Schooling, click here.
A kindergarten teacher once told me that the first two weeks of school she spends consoling the tearful children.
Look at it from a child's perspective: parents are a child’s rock and then the parents leave the child in a strange place, with strange people. The child feels abandoned by his parents. You can imagine the anxiety it might provoke.
As you know, children's needs are very simple. They need to feel safe. They need to feel loved. They need to feel protected.
However, when a child’s emotional needs are not met from situations like going to school at early ages, it can interfere with the development of the nervous system.
We also know that children as young as five years of age now suffer from problems, such as anxiety and depression, which are ailments of the nervous system.
America is also struggling with an overgrowth of narcissistic people, which can stem from emotional trauma during childhood; such as emotional or physical abuse, as well as excessive praise and unrealistic expectations.
On top of that, children are not wired to sit at desks at early ages. This is a bigger problem for boys than girls because boys have more restless energy than girls, which is why the ADHD epidemic has affected more boys than it has girls.
When I look at the symptoms of ADHD, including hyperactivity, lack of focus with boring activities, a struggle to listen, and saying inappropriate things, it sounds to me like the typical behavior of a young child.
When I look at the suggestions for non-medical treatment, it includes, lo and behold, exercise! In other words, movement, which is exactly what young children need.
We are too quick to label our young ones rather than face the obvious: our societal expectations of children are unrealistic.
Another non-medical treatment is behavior therapy! I know from my work as a parenting coach that most parents are failing to teach their children how to listen when they are spoken to. Listening is a skill, but it is also common courtesy.
One symptom that I find utterly ridiculous, and I'm sure you will, too, is the inability to maintain focus when a child is not interested in the task in hand. Well, who doesn't have trouble focusing when they are not interested in something?
Have you ever tuned out at a boring lecture or a repetitive task? I know I have! I'll be washing dishes and my mind has taken me to the Piazzo Della Signoria and has me sipping on a hot cappuccino on a cold winter day.
If I can't stay focused on a boring lecture or mindless household tasks, what hope is there for a little child when he's bored by what he's been told to do?
What little boy wants to compute a row of additional problems when he could be outside fighting dragons? Or remember his spelling list correctly when he could be searching for a lost treasure?
Or try to decode some letters on a page when he could be fighting a villain with a magic sword?
The life of a little boy is so much more exciting that the dictates of a schoolteacher. Rather than acknowledge and accommodate the needs of our children, we drug them to fit our school agendas.
Children are not wired to begin academic learning at early ages. They need to reach a certain level of development neurologically, emotionally, and physically to be ready to sit at a desk and study academic subjects; such as reading, writing, and arithmetic.
“You’re braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.”
When we deprive our children of the joy of fighting dragons, searching for lost treasures, and magic sword fights, we do it at the expense of their development.
We have been putting our kids into early learning programs since the 1970s, and it is no accident that the mental health issues amongst children has been rising since then, as well.
But mental and emotional well-being scores differently for homeschooled kids. The studies have shown that homeschooled kids are emotionally stronger than schooled kids, at least I can speak for kids who are homeschooled without government help because these are the kids the researchers have studied.
(If your children are in virtual schools, the virtual schools might be contributing to emotional problems, such as anti-social behavior and a loss of interest in normal childhood activities.)
“What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.”
Raymond Moore studied the research on early education and his conclusion was that "...warm and consistent proximity to one's parents until age 8 appeared to be a greater predictor of eventual stability and cognitive maturity than any special effort toward cognitive development."
When you homeschool your children, they do not experience the stress to their developing nervous systems that schooled kids might experience. Nor do they have to begin academic studies before they are developmentally ready.
On the contrary, you get to decide when your child is ready to sit down and apply his mind to academic subjects.
We have plenty of studies now that show children are better at home; free from the company of strangers, free from the confines of a school desk, and free from the demands of unrealistic academic expectations.
Homeschooled kids continue to feel safe, loved, and protected long after the academic years of learning begin. They are also free to roam for as long as they need to, so they can reap all of the developmental benefits that come with a "free-range" childhood.
And this is why it makes sense that homeschooling is better for a child's emotional health.
Join the FREE Masterclass: Top 3 Secrets to Homeschooling for Success (Your kids will thank you when they’re grown!) by Liz Hanson
Don’t miss your free download, 10 True Facts About Homeschooled Kids That Will Surprise You
Get a copy of Liz’s homeschooling Bible, Education’s Not the Point: How Schools Fair to Train Children’s Minds and Nurture Their Characters with Essays by John Taylor Gatto and Dorothy Sayers.
Elizabeth Y. Hanson is a homeschooling thought-leader and the founder of Smart Homeschooler.
As an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach, she has 23 years of experience working in education.
Developing a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child, based on tradition and modern research, Liz devotes her time to helping parents to get it right.
Liz is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.
"I know Elizabeth Y. Hanson as a remarkably intelligent, highly sensitive woman with a moral nature and deep insight into differences between schooling and education. Elizabeth's mastery of current educational difficulties is a testimony to her comprehensive understanding of the competing worlds of schooling and education. She has a good heart and a good head. What more can I say?”
—John Taylor Gatto Distinguished educator, public speaker, and best-selling author of Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling. For a copy of The Short Angry History of Compulsory Schooling, click here.
With the homeschooling trend picking up speed each New Year, you might be surprised at the number of celebrities who homeschool. Here’s a few to start with, including some of their reasons for homeschooling.
Angelina Jolie is homeschooling her six children. Now, I'm not sure if this means that she has hired a governess to teach them, but what's important is that she's decided her kids will do better learning at home because of their diverse backgrounds.
Which makes sense because a public school would be short-pressed to meet their needs. One of the beauties of homeschooling is that you can custom tailor your curriculum to meet the needs and interests of your children.
In school, there is no room for a child's own interests; he has to learn what the teacher decides he should learn. But in a homeschool, your kids can dive into subjects that interest them and that would be meaningful for them.
I would guess that this would be important for Angelina's children too.
“Do not follow where the path may lead. Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.”
Supermodel Gusele Bundchen and her NFL husband Tom Brady decided to stick with homeschooling after the Covid pandemic because they wanted to provide more stability for their children.
Regardless of what is happening in the world, an uninterrupted education for your children makes sense. Consistency is vital to developing certain skills, and stability is so critical to a child's sense of well-being. Maintaining a stable learning environment is essential during the educative years.
Homeschooling will help with a child's emotional state too. At home, or even in homeschooling playgroups, children are not separated from their parents at early ages, so anxiety or depression that might result from these early separations is avoided.
On top of that, as you know, separation anxiety is real in children. It always baffles me that we treat it as insignificant in America. Children need to feel loved, protected, and safe for their nervous systems to develop well, so they are not at risk for developing emotional issues later.
If the world were to stand still again, as it did during Covid, one group that won't be affected is the homeschoolers, because it'll be homeschooling as usual.
Mayim Bialik, the Big Bang Theory actress, decided to homeschool. She believes that allowing her children to learn at their own pace, rather than be shuffled along with 30 other kids, will have a huge impact on how well they do academically.
“Don’t just teach your children to read. Teach them to question what they read. Teach them to question everything.”
And she's right. But not just academically. I would add that homeschooling has the enormous benefit of building self-confidence too.
Children who learn at their own pace don't adopt a "group think" mindset. The problem with the "group think" mindset is that it leads to a dependence upon what the group thinks, instead of having the confidence to hold and express a differing view.
Homeschooled kids grow up in environments where they are encouraged to speak their minds, so this is what's normal for them. The idea of being inauthentic isn't something a homeschooled kid would be inclined towards.
Nicole Kidman and Tom Cruise homeschooled their children as did John Travolta and Kelly Preston, amongst so many others. The list goes on…
And who are the famous homeschoolers that came before us? This list is long, too, but to name a few…
Thomas Edison. He wasn't doing well in school, so his mother pulled him out and taught him herself.
Theodore Roosevelt was homeschooled due to health reasons.
Alexander the Great was tutored by Aristotle, as has been the custom of the ruling families (they need to raise leaders!)
Alexander Hamilton was largely self-taught until college.
President Andrew Johnson was self-taught as an adult, having never attended school.
And the list goes on…
When you think about it, hiring a tutor to teach your children is a homeschool education. So if it is good enough for the ruling class—and preferred by the ruling class—why shouldn't our kids have a "leader's" education too?
Join the FREE Masterclass: Top 3 Secrets to Homeschooling for Success (Your kids will thank you when they’re grown!) by Liz Hanson
Don’t miss your free download, 10 True Facts About Homeschooled Kids That Will Surprise You
Get a copy of Liz’s homeschooling Bible, Education’s Not the Point: How Schools Fair to Train Children’s Minds and Nurture Their Characters with Essays by John Taylor Gatto and Dorothy Sayers.
Elizabeth Y. Hanson is a homeschooling thought-leader and the founder of Smart Homeschooler.
As an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach, she has 23 years of experience working in education.
Developing a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child, based on tradition and modern research, Liz devotes her time to helping parents to get it right.
Liz is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.
"I know Elizabeth Y. Hanson as a remarkably intelligent, highly sensitive woman with a moral nature and deep insight into differences between schooling and education. Elizabeth's mastery of current educational difficulties is a testimony to her comprehensive understanding of the competing worlds of schooling and education. She has a good heart and a good head. What more can I say?”
—John Taylor Gatto Distinguished educator, public speaker, and best-selling author of Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling. For a copy of The Short Angry History of Compulsory Schooling, click here.
We had a step-grandmother who used to lecture us about gratitude. The more she lectured, the less we listened. Because she had it all wrong.
As you and I both know, kids don't learn gratitude from lectures. Nor do they learn gratitude from reading books about how important it is to be grateful.
The good news is that the gratitude guru, Robert Emmons, who has a new book called Gratitude Works!: A 21-Day Program for Creating Emotional Prosperity, has cracked the code to reaping the benefits of gratitude.
New research shows that the less we focus on the generals of gratitude, and the more we hone in on the particulars of gratitude, the greater the positive effects become.
“Cultivate the habit of being grateful for every good thing that comes to you, and to give thanks continuously. And because all things have contributed to your advancement, you should include all things in your gratitude.”
I excerpted the following list from an article he wrote on the benefits of gratitude because there are so many that anyone would be a fool NOT to practice gratitude daily, no matter how tough life became.
And, speaking of tough times, if you are experiencing one now, Emmons points out that even in the worst of times when we feel less than grateful for our circumstances, practicing gratitude will help us through the difficult periods.
Physical
Stronger immune systems
Less bothered by aches and pains
Lower blood pressure
Exercise more and take better care of their health
Sleep longer and feel more refreshed upon waking
Psychological
Higher levels of positive emotions
More alert, alive, and awake
More joy and pleasure
More optimism and happiness
Social
More helpful, generous, and compassionate
More forgiving
More outgoing
Feel less lonely and isolated.
Making general statements about being grateful for one's family, spouse, or friends is helpful but, as Emmons discovered, focusing on the particulars is an even better way to increase the benefits of gratitude 10x over.
You increase the benefits of gratitude by taking one thing you appreciate in your life and then name 5 things about it that make you feel grateful. So instead of focusing on the generals, you are focusing on the particulars of the gratitude.
For example, I could say that I feel grateful for my work in education, which I do, but that's a very general statement. What I want to reflect on instead is what about the work makes me feel grateful.
I feel grateful that I can guide parents to help their children realize their intellectual potential, rather than wasting 12 of a child's best learning years in a dumbed-down school system or even government-funded homeschooling programs.
I feel grateful to be able to contribute to making the world a better place by helping so many families to homeschool their children, so we raise critical thinkers and ethical leaders.
I feel grateful that my work has a built-in need for me to read and learn new things because I love to do both.
I feel grateful for the creative side of my work which challenges me to come up with new ideas regularly and keeps my brain churning.
I feel grateful when a parent tells me how things I taught them had a huge, positive effect on their family because it reminds me that my work is having an impact, rather than effort spent in vain.
“Let us be grateful to the people who make us happy; they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom.”
You can see how it works, right? Hone in on the particulars of one thing you feel grateful for, and your list of the objects of your gratitude will not only multiply ten-fold but so will the benefits you reap.
And, in becoming more grateful yourself, your kids will naturally feel grateful, because you are their role model, and they'll adopt your attitude.
“You pray in your distress and in your need; would that you might pray also in the fullness of your joy and in your days of abundance.”
One thing you can do is to go through the practice with them every day as part of your homeschool morning routine, so they learn how to focus on all of the good in their lives because no matter how bad things can seem, there is always much to be grateful for.
I remember this time with my kids when we were driving down the road and I asked them to tell me some things they were grateful for, and do you know what? I had to stop them because we reached our destination before they had exhausted their list!
The beauty of children.
Another thing I've noticed throughout my life, and I bet you have to, is that when I am in the company of people who complain a lot, I tend to complain more. It's a reminder for us to be vigilant about the company we keep because people's states do rub off on us.
And, we naturally want to gear our kids towards keeping good company, which we can do as homeschoolers. In school, not a chance. It's the luck of the draw as to who our kids become friends with on the playground.
As an example, my childhood best friend of 8 years had a brother who was killed in the Vietnam War just as we were entering adolescence. I'm not going to go into any details, but suffice it to say that this beautiful Irish, Catholic family lost their faith.
“Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues but the parent of all others.”
My best friend turned into bad company for me as a result of her brother's death, and she influenced me in extremely negative ways during my teenage years, because peer pressure is real.
As homeschoolers, if another child becomes a bad influence on our kids, we will catch on to it in time to do something before it's too late. We can steer our kids towards better company without them realizing what we are doing, and before you know it, the bad company is forgotten.
So, I’m sure you can agree on the importance of keeping our kids in the company of people who bring them up in life, not down.
And if we raise them with the attitude of gratitude, they will reap all of the benefits that Emmons has shared with us.
And, you can pick up a copy of his book in preparation for the New Year to get started with your gratitude practice today, Gratitude Works!: A 21-Day Program for Creating Emotional Prosperity.
I just ordered one myself!
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Get a copy of Liz’s homeschooling Bible, Education’s Not the Point: How Schools Fair to Train Children’s Minds and Nurture Their Characters with Essays by John Taylor Gatto and Dorothy Sayers.
Elizabeth Y. Hanson is a homeschooling thought-leader and the founder of Smart Homeschooler.
As an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach, she has 23 years of experience working in education.
Developing a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child, based on tradition and modern research, Liz devotes her time to helping parents to get it right.
Liz is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.
"I know Elizabeth Y. Hanson as a remarkably intelligent, highly sensitive woman with a moral nature and deep insight into differences between schooling and education. Elizabeth's mastery of current educational difficulties is a testimony to her comprehensive understanding of the competing worlds of schooling and education. She has a good heart and a good head. What more can I say?”
—John Taylor Gatto Distinguished educator, public speaker, and best-selling author of Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling. For a copy of The Short Angry History of Compulsory Schooling, click here.
Smart Homeschool Planning with Elizabeth Y. Hanson, Homeschooling Expert and Certified Parenting Coach
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